1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 For best IPTV provider, please visit: WWW.IPTV.CAT For best IPTV provider, please visit: WWW.IPTV.CAT 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 For best IPTV provider, please visit: WWW.IPTV.CAT For best IPTV provider, please visit: WWW.IPTV.CAT 3 00:00:13,199 --> 00:00:15,284 I just wanna be able to go out and have 4 00:00:15,367 --> 00:00:17,208 a nice night for once. Is that too much to ask? 5 00:00:17,244 --> 00:00:18,930 One thing I fuck up in the last nine years... 6 00:00:18,954 --> 00:00:20,140 - One thing? - Yes, eight years in a row... 7 00:00:20,164 --> 00:00:21,600 It's literally one of the most... - I got you a present! 8 00:00:21,624 --> 00:00:23,268 Important things you have to remember in a relationship. 9 00:00:23,292 --> 00:00:24,561 - That's not the right way it is literally. 10 00:00:24,585 --> 00:00:26,813 - Ah, I know the difference between literal and figurative 11 00:00:26,837 --> 00:00:27,837 language, Dave. 12 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:28,982 - You get something on me and you never let it go. 13 00:00:29,006 --> 00:00:29,924 - Ohh! 14 00:00:30,007 --> 00:00:30,800 - Come on, I knew it was your birthday. 15 00:00:30,883 --> 00:00:32,259 - Cos you saw it on Facebook! 16 00:00:32,343 --> 00:00:33,862 - That's how most people remember birthdays! 17 00:00:33,886 --> 00:00:35,763 - I just want a little bit of respect, Dave. 18 00:00:35,846 --> 00:00:37,807 - Why does everything have to be an argument? 19 00:00:37,890 --> 00:00:38,891 - Why do you think? 20 00:00:38,974 --> 00:00:39,993 - Well you're the one raising your voice! 21 00:00:40,017 --> 00:00:41,411 - Because it's the only way I can be heard! 22 00:00:41,435 --> 00:00:42,871 - Oh my God! - You're like a child, Dave! 23 00:00:42,895 --> 00:00:44,289 - I'm like a child? - Yeah, you're like a child. 24 00:00:44,313 --> 00:00:46,816 - You're the one shouting at me! You started shouting first. 25 00:00:48,108 --> 00:00:49,961 I knew this was coming. There's a version of this... 26 00:00:49,985 --> 00:00:51,213 - Oh, is it? - There's a version of 27 00:00:51,237 --> 00:00:52,839 this where we've had a really lovely time together. 28 00:00:52,863 --> 00:00:54,299 - Oh is it? Buy me a fuckin' present? 29 00:00:54,323 --> 00:00:56,408 Maybe that would be a nice thing to do? 30 00:00:56,492 --> 00:00:58,413 - Got me on the points! So that's enough! That's- 31 00:00:58,452 --> 00:01:00,305 I didn't even need to hear the rest of what he said. 32 00:01:00,329 --> 00:01:01,973 Dave, what are you actually fucking talking about? 33 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:09,320 Just because Stevie cooks one meal... 34 00:01:09,380 --> 00:01:10,714 - Yeah? 35 00:01:10,798 --> 00:01:12,651 - Doesn't mean suddenly we all have to know how to wash rice! 36 00:01:12,675 --> 00:01:13,944 What are you fuckin' talking about? 37 00:01:13,968 --> 00:01:15,403 I'm talking about it's a different thing. 38 00:01:15,427 --> 00:01:17,805 It's not! Oh my God! Just be a fuckin' grown up! 39 00:01:17,888 --> 00:01:19,557 I am being grown up! 40 00:01:25,771 --> 00:01:27,749 - I'm spending all that money... - Just get what I asked. 41 00:01:27,773 --> 00:01:30,276 - The pumpkin activated fucking quinoa stuff that's- 42 00:01:30,359 --> 00:01:31,777 - Not that one! I need this one. 43 00:01:31,861 --> 00:01:32,778 It's pumpkin and red lentil! 44 00:01:32,862 --> 00:01:35,030 I just wanna take you home with me. 45 00:01:35,114 --> 00:01:36,615 Yes I do. 46 00:01:36,699 --> 00:01:37,825 - You're not! 47 00:01:37,908 --> 00:01:39,427 - I was! I was sitting there like a fuckin" idiot! 48 00:01:39,451 --> 00:01:41,096 I'm having a fucking panic attack right now! 49 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:42,138 No one was listening to me. 50 00:01:42,162 --> 00:01:43,843 No one gave a fuck about what I had to say. 51 00:01:47,418 --> 00:01:50,713 Listen! Dave, fucking listen to me! 52 00:01:50,796 --> 00:01:52,965 No! I said no. No! 53 00:01:53,048 --> 00:01:54,048 No! 54 00:01:54,091 --> 00:01:56,176 Listen! Calm down! 55 00:01:56,260 --> 00:01:58,012 Calm down! Listen! 56 00:02:00,723 --> 00:02:02,516 Mate, you've gotta move on. Move on. 57 00:02:03,225 --> 00:02:05,120 Mate, you've gotta move on. Come on. Get a move on. 58 00:02:05,144 --> 00:02:06,788 Come on mate, pack up, get out of here. 59 00:02:06,812 --> 00:02:08,022 I make an effort every day. 60 00:02:08,105 --> 00:02:09,982 I'm making an effort right now, being here. 61 00:02:10,065 --> 00:02:10,649 No you don't! 62 00:02:10,733 --> 00:02:11,984 I've got you a present. 63 00:02:12,067 --> 00:02:12,943 This is the first time. 64 00:02:13,027 --> 00:02:14,778 I'll get you something next time. 65 00:02:14,862 --> 00:02:17,740 No you don't! You fucking don't, Dave! 66 00:02:17,823 --> 00:02:20,260 Get it yourself and wrap it up from me and say I gave it to ya. 67 00:02:20,284 --> 00:02:21,368 Oh my God! 68 00:02:55,736 --> 00:02:59,281 Well gosh, gee-golly-oh! I do love a good song. 69 00:02:59,365 --> 00:03:01,408 I always love singing so much, Teddy. 70 00:03:01,492 --> 00:03:04,161 - And I love singing with you, Frogsie! 71 00:03:05,454 --> 00:03:07,706 Mummy says you're staying with us. 72 00:03:09,166 --> 00:03:10,206 How long will you be here? 73 00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:11,710 feel so much better now. 74 00:03:11,794 --> 00:03:13,253 Go to school, Felix. 75 00:03:13,337 --> 00:03:15,756 I've been to school. 76 00:03:16,799 --> 00:03:18,050 What time is it? 77 00:03:18,133 --> 00:03:19,677 It's Teddy McGiggle time. 78 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:21,387 Mc what? 79 00:03:21,470 --> 00:03:23,055 - Where's your Mum? - At the shops. 80 00:03:23,138 --> 00:03:25,683 If you're staying, does it mean we can hang out lots? 81 00:03:25,766 --> 00:03:26,892 No. 82 00:03:26,976 --> 00:03:28,519 Make me a coffee. 83 00:03:28,602 --> 00:03:31,063 I can't make coffee, I'm five. 84 00:03:31,146 --> 00:03:33,273 Do you wanna play with my toy tractor? 85 00:03:33,357 --> 00:03:34,817 No. Look, 86 00:03:34,900 --> 00:03:37,611 Uncle David hit Mummy's booze cabinet pretty hard 87 00:03:37,695 --> 00:03:39,655 oh, fuck! 88 00:03:39,738 --> 00:03:41,740 That's a bad word, Uncle David. 89 00:03:41,824 --> 00:03:45,077 ... the McGiggle dance! A one, two, three, go! 90 00:03:48,664 --> 00:03:51,375 We're coming down under, kiddlywinks! 91 00:03:51,458 --> 00:03:53,043 What's this Uncle David? 92 00:03:56,755 --> 00:03:59,758 Pew pew pew pew! 93 00:03:59,842 --> 00:04:02,136 Pew pew pew pew pew pew! 94 00:04:02,219 --> 00:04:03,971 Pew pew pew pew! 95 00:04:05,264 --> 00:04:06,700 What do you think you're doing? 96 00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:08,267 Relax, he's really good at it. 97 00:04:08,350 --> 00:04:09,995 Whoa! Whoa, what are you doing? You're not meant to 98 00:04:10,019 --> 00:04:11,621 turn it off like that! You'll damage the hardware! 99 00:04:11,645 --> 00:04:12,998 Don't expose him to that sort of violence. 100 00:04:13,022 --> 00:04:14,148 It's not real! 101 00:04:14,231 --> 00:04:16,942 That's not the point! He's five. What's wrong with you? 102 00:04:17,026 --> 00:04:18,837 Come and help me unpack the shopping, fluffy duck. 103 00:04:18,861 --> 00:04:19,879 We're having pizza for dinner. 104 00:04:19,903 --> 00:04:22,031 Pizza? Thank fuck. I'm starving! 105 00:04:23,032 --> 00:04:24,366 Oh, fuck off. 106 00:04:25,034 --> 00:04:27,220 Could someone tell me what the fuck that is meant to be? 107 00:04:27,244 --> 00:04:29,204 Dave! - Mummy, he did it again. 108 00:04:29,288 --> 00:04:30,497 I will kick you out. 109 00:04:30,581 --> 00:04:32,249 I don't care what you're going through. 110 00:04:33,876 --> 00:04:34,876 What is that? 111 00:04:34,918 --> 00:04:35,627 Tofu. 112 00:04:35,711 --> 00:04:36,587 And this? 113 00:04:36,670 --> 00:04:38,422 It's broccoli. It's a kind of vegetable. 114 00:04:38,505 --> 00:04:39,798 And you like eating this? 115 00:04:39,882 --> 00:04:41,967 Yes, and so does my tractor. 116 00:04:43,552 --> 00:04:44,178 Where's the cheese? 117 00:04:44,261 --> 00:04:45,345 I can't have cheese. 118 00:04:45,429 --> 00:04:47,309 You know he can't have dairy. He's anaphylactic. 119 00:04:47,347 --> 00:04:50,893 I'm allergic to fish, dairy, eggs, sesame, nuts and gluten. 120 00:04:50,976 --> 00:04:53,062 No one's allergic to gluten. It's a fad. 121 00:04:53,145 --> 00:04:55,040 Don't joke, Dave. It's a life-threatening condition. 122 00:04:55,064 --> 00:04:56,482 Yeah, so is what I'm going through. 123 00:04:58,525 --> 00:05:00,110 Oh, Boo Boo. 124 00:05:00,194 --> 00:05:02,321 Why did you call him Boo Boo? 125 00:05:02,404 --> 00:05:04,632 It's what I used to call your uncle when he was your age. 126 00:05:04,656 --> 00:05:05,741 Boo Boo! 127 00:05:05,824 --> 00:05:07,576 No, see, you don't get to call me that. 128 00:05:07,659 --> 00:05:10,496 You call me Uncle David, Uncle Dave, D-Man or Big D. 129 00:05:10,579 --> 00:05:12,724 Look, I had too much stuff going on with the band, alright? 130 00:05:12,748 --> 00:05:13,874 I couldn't get tied down. 131 00:05:13,957 --> 00:05:16,251 Miss Caroline plays the ukulele and we all sing 132 00:05:16,335 --> 00:05:17,836 Taylor Swift songs. 133 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:20,065 Well you be sure to tell Miss Caroline that she can go and 134 00:05:20,089 --> 00:05:20,964 suck a bag of dicks. 135 00:05:21,048 --> 00:05:22,341 Dave! 136 00:05:22,424 --> 00:05:25,803 Teddy McGiggle says to sing the Bad Word song when you hear 137 00:05:25,886 --> 00:05:27,846 a grown-up say a bad word. 138 00:05:27,930 --> 00:05:29,389 Do you wanna hear it? 139 00:05:29,473 --> 00:05:30,557 No. 140 00:05:35,896 --> 00:05:37,439 Tra la la la la la la 141 00:05:37,523 --> 00:05:40,776 All Sara would ever go on about was having kids, okay? 142 00:05:40,859 --> 00:05:42,194 That's why we fought all the time. 143 00:05:42,277 --> 00:05:44,380 Dave, there are plenty of things to be scared of in this world, 144 00:05:44,404 --> 00:05:45,632 but having a kid isn't one of them. 145 00:05:45,656 --> 00:05:47,449 I came out of a test tube. 146 00:05:47,533 --> 00:05:48,992 Yeah I know you did, Felix. 147 00:05:49,076 --> 00:05:52,204 Dave, there is nothing that says you have to end up like Dad. 148 00:05:54,873 --> 00:05:56,893 Felix, could you please tell your Mum that I'm now going to 149 00:05:56,917 --> 00:05:59,104 go down to Domino's and get myself a proper cheese covered 150 00:05:59,128 --> 00:06:01,046 pizza, with a side of gluten. 151 00:06:01,130 --> 00:06:02,714 Mummy, Uncle David is... 152 00:06:02,798 --> 00:06:04,091 You don't have to say it, Felix. 153 00:06:04,174 --> 00:06:06,468 Your uncle isn't making good choices right now. 154 00:06:06,552 --> 00:06:08,488 You know, when you get yourself a pair of big boy pants, 155 00:06:08,512 --> 00:06:10,556 you realise there's more to life than tractors. 156 00:06:10,639 --> 00:06:12,015 Fuckin' tractors! 157 00:06:12,099 --> 00:06:15,269 Uncle David is so serious, isn't he Mummy? 158 00:06:15,352 --> 00:06:17,604 Yes, my little fluffy duck, he is. 159 00:06:17,688 --> 00:06:18,564 Quack! 160 00:06:22,568 --> 00:06:24,945 So, do you remember where we're up to? 161 00:06:25,028 --> 00:06:27,030 Where they got away from the witches. 162 00:06:27,114 --> 00:06:28,240 That's right. 163 00:06:28,323 --> 00:06:30,444 They're in Norway and they're safe at Grandma's house. 164 00:06:31,118 --> 00:06:34,079 She was wearing a lace dress, and the lace kept tickling 165 00:06:34,163 --> 00:06:35,289 my nose. 166 00:06:35,372 --> 00:06:37,457 I had to rest my head on my front paws. 167 00:06:38,208 --> 00:06:41,503 'Have you ever heard my heart humming away, Grandmama?' 168 00:06:41,587 --> 00:06:42,504 I asked her. 169 00:06:42,588 --> 00:06:44,882 'Often', she said. I hear it when you're 170 00:06:44,965 --> 00:06:47,593 lying very close to me on the pillow at night. 171 00:06:47,676 --> 00:06:50,971 The two of us remained silent in front of the fire for a long 172 00:06:51,054 --> 00:06:54,766 time after that, thinking about these wonderful things. 173 00:06:54,850 --> 00:06:57,603 'My darling', she said at last. 174 00:06:57,686 --> 00:07:00,355 "Are you sure you don't mind being a mouse for the rest of 175 00:07:00,439 --> 00:07:01,690 your life?' 176 00:07:01,773 --> 00:07:04,234 'I don't mind at all, ' I said. 177 00:07:04,318 --> 00:07:06,987 'It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, 178 00:07:07,070 --> 00:07:08,947 as long as somebody loves you.' 179 00:07:23,462 --> 00:07:24,796 Felix, get up! 180 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:27,174 Felix, get up. I need your help. 181 00:07:29,676 --> 00:07:33,639 So when you see her, you breathe as Darth Vader, and then you say 182 00:07:33,722 --> 00:07:36,058 - Hello Aunty Sara, I am Darth Vader. 183 00:07:36,141 --> 00:07:37,476 May the force be with us. 184 00:07:37,559 --> 00:07:38,560 Do it properly, Felix. 185 00:07:38,644 --> 00:07:40,121 When the mask is on, you remain in character. 186 00:07:40,145 --> 00:07:42,773 Hello Aunty Sara, I am Darth Vader. 187 00:07:42,856 --> 00:07:44,316 May the force be with us. 188 00:07:44,399 --> 00:07:47,361 Yes! Daniel Day Lewis just came everywhere in his pants. 189 00:07:47,444 --> 00:07:50,239 Okay, now, can you hold up the sign? 190 00:07:50,322 --> 00:07:52,241 I'll come in and take care of the rest. 191 00:07:52,324 --> 00:07:53,533 - Yes, Uncle David. 192 00:07:53,617 --> 00:07:56,328 I mean, yes, Uncle David. 193 00:07:56,411 --> 00:07:57,537 Alright. 194 00:08:00,207 --> 00:08:01,541 Do it, Darth. 195 00:08:06,713 --> 00:08:07,798 Aunty Sara. 196 00:08:07,881 --> 00:08:08,632 Felix? 197 00:08:08,715 --> 00:08:10,509 I am Darth Vader. 198 00:08:10,592 --> 00:08:12,469 Felix, what are you doing here? 199 00:08:12,552 --> 00:08:14,012 What? No! 200 00:08:14,513 --> 00:08:15,973 What the fuck are you doing? 201 00:08:16,056 --> 00:08:16,848 I live here! 202 00:08:16,932 --> 00:08:18,558 Yeah, well who the fuck is that? 203 00:08:18,642 --> 00:08:19,393 Rory. 204 00:08:19,476 --> 00:08:20,727 That's Rory from work. 205 00:08:20,811 --> 00:08:23,397 Oh, do me a favour and get Rory from work out of your vagina! 206 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:24,314 Don't go anywhere, Rory. 207 00:08:24,398 --> 00:08:25,107 This is Dave? 208 00:08:25,190 --> 00:08:27,067 Yeah, hi Rory, I'm Dave. 209 00:08:27,150 --> 00:08:28,902 I'm Sara's boyfriend of nine fucking years. 210 00:08:28,986 --> 00:08:30,922 Can you watch your language around the kid, please? 211 00:08:30,946 --> 00:08:32,823 I am not a kid. I am Darth Vader! 212 00:08:32,906 --> 00:08:34,241 May the force be with us. 213 00:08:36,326 --> 00:08:38,870 Oh yeah. Yeah, you fucked up, 214 00:08:38,954 --> 00:08:41,331 didn't you Sara because I was going to marry you. 215 00:08:41,415 --> 00:08:43,208 I was possibly gonna give you a baby. 216 00:08:43,292 --> 00:08:45,752 I even made this engagement ring out of a pipe cleaner I found 217 00:08:45,836 --> 00:08:46,962 under Felix's bed. 218 00:08:47,045 --> 00:08:48,422 No, you do this. You- 219 00:08:48,505 --> 00:08:50,299 you say one thing, you never come through. 220 00:08:50,382 --> 00:08:52,759 Hello! I was just about to! 221 00:08:52,843 --> 00:08:55,554 I don't mean marriage and a baby, Dave. 222 00:08:55,637 --> 00:08:58,390 I needed you to love me, and you're incapable of loving 223 00:08:58,473 --> 00:08:59,558 anyone but yourself. 224 00:08:59,641 --> 00:09:01,762 At least I'm not stuffing real estate agent dick in me 225 00:09:01,810 --> 00:09:02,728 the first chance I get! 226 00:09:02,811 --> 00:09:03,478 That's enough. 227 00:09:03,562 --> 00:09:04,602 Oh, what are you gonna do? 228 00:09:04,646 --> 00:09:06,940 You need to watch your language! 229 00:09:07,024 --> 00:09:08,942 You need to stop having sex in front of kids! 230 00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:11,111 Don't talk to Rory like that. Rory is more in touch 231 00:09:11,194 --> 00:09:12,914 with his emotional self than you'll ever be. 232 00:09:12,988 --> 00:09:15,824 The only thing Rory is in touch with is your slutty vagina. 233 00:09:15,907 --> 00:09:16,700 Not cool. 234 00:09:16,783 --> 00:09:18,952 Yeah? Not cool this, motherfuck... 235 00:09:19,494 --> 00:09:22,372 Jesus! Argh! Argh! Oh God! Fuck! 236 00:09:22,456 --> 00:09:23,832 That's it. Calm down! 237 00:09:23,915 --> 00:09:25,310 - Yuck, your dick's on my arm! Your sweaty dick! 238 00:09:25,334 --> 00:09:28,128 Shit man, shit! Okay! Come on easy, man! Easy easy! 239 00:09:28,211 --> 00:09:29,397 You gonna behave yourself? 240 00:09:29,421 --> 00:09:30,940 - Shit, there's a kid here, man! - Are we good now? 241 00:09:30,964 --> 00:09:32,674 - Yes. - Yeah? 242 00:09:34,009 --> 00:09:36,011 I'm sorry I had to resort to violence. 243 00:09:36,094 --> 00:09:37,179 Fucking Rory! 244 00:09:37,262 --> 00:09:39,181 Violence is never the answer. 245 00:09:39,264 --> 00:09:42,351 If you only knew the power of the dark side. 246 00:09:42,434 --> 00:09:45,437 Fucking I gave you the best years of my life. 247 00:09:46,730 --> 00:09:49,083 You saw how much bush was thrown at me when I was in the band. 248 00:09:49,107 --> 00:09:50,192 That was ten years ago. 249 00:09:50,275 --> 00:09:52,235 Stop going on about the band. It's pathetic. 250 00:09:52,319 --> 00:09:54,780 Yeah, well I never screwed anyone else. 251 00:09:54,863 --> 00:09:56,573 I chose to be with you. 252 00:09:57,866 --> 00:10:00,786 There is a big difference between being with someone and 253 00:10:00,869 --> 00:10:02,704 being there for someone, Dave. 254 00:10:02,788 --> 00:10:03,789 Mm. 255 00:10:03,872 --> 00:10:06,041 I hope you grow up enough one day to realise that. 256 00:10:06,124 --> 00:10:08,168 I don't need to do that. You do. 257 00:10:09,711 --> 00:10:11,004 Fucking idiots. 258 00:10:17,260 --> 00:10:19,721 Don't ever expect to see me back here again. 259 00:10:24,768 --> 00:10:25,769 Felix. 260 00:10:25,852 --> 00:10:27,854 I am not Felix, I am Darth Vader. 261 00:10:27,938 --> 00:10:29,314 - Darth Vader, now! 262 00:10:35,695 --> 00:10:36,695 I-I don't know. 263 00:10:37,072 --> 00:10:38,490 Mummy! 264 00:10:39,950 --> 00:10:41,928 I've been trying to call you. Where the hell have you been? 265 00:10:41,952 --> 00:10:44,996 Uncle David took me to see Aunty Sara. 266 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:46,974 Yeah, and guess what Aunty Sara was doing when we got there? 267 00:10:46,998 --> 00:10:49,126 Having sex with a real estate agent. 268 00:10:49,209 --> 00:10:50,293 Hang on, what? 269 00:10:50,377 --> 00:10:51,586 Yeah, I know! 270 00:10:51,670 --> 00:10:53,898 You woke my son up so that he could go and see two people 271 00:10:53,922 --> 00:10:55,549 having sex? - No, not specifically. 272 00:10:55,632 --> 00:10:59,136 A naked man punched Uncle David in the nose 'cause Aunty Sara 273 00:10:59,219 --> 00:11:00,971 has a slutty vagina. 274 00:11:01,054 --> 00:11:02,139 I don't believe this. 275 00:11:02,222 --> 00:11:04,015 I know, it's unbelievable. 276 00:11:04,099 --> 00:11:05,499 I mean, how could she do this to me? 277 00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:08,603 If you can't understand how incredibly inappropriate it is 278 00:11:08,687 --> 00:11:10,915 to take your nephew out in the middle of the night, then you 279 00:11:10,939 --> 00:11:12,166 can find somewhere else to stay. 280 00:11:12,190 --> 00:11:13,209 What are you talking about? 281 00:11:13,233 --> 00:11:14,109 He had a great time. 282 00:11:14,192 --> 00:11:16,027 Look, he's Darth Vader! 283 00:11:16,111 --> 00:11:17,904 I am your father, Mummy. 284 00:11:17,988 --> 00:11:19,108 See, he's really good at it. 285 00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:20,407 It's late. 286 00:11:20,490 --> 00:11:22,242 I have a double shift tomorrow. 287 00:11:22,909 --> 00:11:24,411 Get out of my house. 288 00:11:29,291 --> 00:11:30,876 You're crying now? 289 00:11:32,836 --> 00:11:35,088 Mummy, you said it's good to cry. 290 00:11:37,674 --> 00:11:38,674 That's right. 291 00:11:38,717 --> 00:11:41,636 Why can't Uncle David stay on the couch? 292 00:11:45,515 --> 00:11:48,351 If you're gonna stay here then you have to start contributing. 293 00:11:48,435 --> 00:11:49,478 Yeah. 294 00:11:49,561 --> 00:11:51,521 Just put him to bed, now. 295 00:11:51,605 --> 00:11:53,165 And you can take him to school tomorrow. 296 00:11:53,231 --> 00:11:55,442 Can we play the shooty game, Uncle David? 297 00:11:56,610 --> 00:11:58,570 I don't want us to get in trouble, Felix. 298 00:11:59,488 --> 00:12:01,907 We'll have to play with the sound off. 299 00:12:02,949 --> 00:12:05,118 I need to get to class early for Miss Caroline. 300 00:12:05,202 --> 00:12:06,870 It's my turn to feed Neville. 301 00:12:06,953 --> 00:12:08,455 Is Neville special needs? 302 00:12:08,538 --> 00:12:10,916 Neville's the class guinea pig. 303 00:12:10,999 --> 00:12:13,835 Hey Felix, what's for lunch today? 304 00:12:13,919 --> 00:12:15,378 That's Max and Ashton. 305 00:12:15,462 --> 00:12:18,256 They think I'm not strong because of what Mummy packs 306 00:12:18,340 --> 00:12:19,216 me for food. 307 00:12:19,299 --> 00:12:21,259 What fucking douche bags! 308 00:12:21,343 --> 00:12:23,929 Max looks like he could use a few more tofu pizzas. 309 00:12:24,012 --> 00:12:25,180 Max was the fat one, yeah? 310 00:12:25,263 --> 00:12:26,640 What's a douche bag? 311 00:12:26,723 --> 00:12:30,018 It's a small bag chicks use to irrigate their vaginas. 312 00:12:30,101 --> 00:12:34,064 I hope you've got yummy broccoli today, Felix! 313 00:12:34,147 --> 00:12:36,775 Was that retarded kid using irony to make fun of you? 314 00:12:36,858 --> 00:12:38,902 Mickey has spina bifida. 315 00:12:38,985 --> 00:12:40,278 You love broccoli! 316 00:12:40,362 --> 00:12:41,696 Hi Felix. 317 00:12:41,780 --> 00:12:43,532 Come on, this way! 318 00:12:43,615 --> 00:12:44,824 Christ, Felix, 319 00:12:44,908 --> 00:12:46,868 look at you slaying puss in the playground, huh? 320 00:12:46,952 --> 00:12:48,870 Beth is my girlfriend. 321 00:12:48,954 --> 00:12:50,121 Yeah, dog! 322 00:12:50,205 --> 00:12:52,582 Treat em mean, keep em keen. 323 00:12:52,666 --> 00:12:54,668 Good morning, Vivienne. 324 00:12:54,751 --> 00:12:56,586 Fuck me, who is that? 325 00:12:57,671 --> 00:12:58,838 Yes! 326 00:13:01,091 --> 00:13:03,718 And, yes! Nice. 327 00:13:03,802 --> 00:13:05,637 That's Miss Caroline. 328 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,013 Jesus! 329 00:13:07,847 --> 00:13:09,516 Felix? Lucky last. 330 00:13:09,599 --> 00:13:11,142 Sorry, Miss Caroline. 331 00:13:11,226 --> 00:13:12,727 I can still feed Neville. 332 00:13:12,811 --> 00:13:14,437 Max has already fed him. 333 00:13:14,521 --> 00:13:16,273 Jeez, Nev'll be lucky to 334 00:13:16,356 --> 00:13:18,024 have anything left with that kid around. 335 00:13:19,526 --> 00:13:22,737 Quickly, put your bags on your hook and unpack crunch and sip. 336 00:13:22,821 --> 00:13:24,757 Alright. Hey come on, mate, I'll give you a hand with that. 337 00:13:24,781 --> 00:13:26,116 Hey hey! 338 00:13:26,199 --> 00:13:27,325 Thank you. 339 00:13:27,409 --> 00:13:29,286 I'm Dave. I'm Felix's uncle. 340 00:13:29,369 --> 00:13:30,870 - Oh, Audrey. 341 00:13:33,248 --> 00:13:35,125 Oh Miss Caroline, jeez, you are 342 00:13:35,208 --> 00:13:37,627 just a beacon of positively in my little nephew's life. 343 00:13:37,711 --> 00:13:39,105 Yeah, he talks about you all the time. 344 00:13:39,129 --> 00:13:42,716 Apparently you slay Tay-Tay on the ukulele. 345 00:13:42,799 --> 00:13:44,217 I don't know about that. 346 00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:47,345 His Mum's going through a weird breakdowny thing at the moment. 347 00:13:47,429 --> 00:13:49,055 Oh no! Really? 348 00:13:49,139 --> 00:13:50,640 Yeah, it's bad. 349 00:13:50,724 --> 00:13:52,350 I had no idea. 350 00:13:52,434 --> 00:13:53,101 Yeah. 351 00:13:53,184 --> 00:13:54,519 I hope Tess is okay. 352 00:13:54,603 --> 00:13:57,814 Well thankfully for everyone, Uncle David is here to help. 353 00:13:58,898 --> 00:14:00,609 Oh dear, he's asleep. 354 00:14:00,692 --> 00:14:02,378 Yeah, I mean, what's going on with his Mum might 355 00:14:02,402 --> 00:14:03,402 be affecting his rhythms. 356 00:14:03,445 --> 00:14:04,738 Don't worry. 357 00:14:04,821 --> 00:14:07,198 I'll give him some special attention today. 358 00:14:07,282 --> 00:14:08,342 Miss Caroline, Miss Caroline! 359 00:14:08,366 --> 00:14:09,409 Lucky boy! 360 00:14:09,492 --> 00:14:11,304 Felix doesn't even have a Dad. He's a loser. 361 00:14:11,328 --> 00:14:13,681 You know I don't really think of him as a nephew, I think of him 362 00:14:13,705 --> 00:14:15,373 as a friend. My best friend. 363 00:14:15,457 --> 00:14:16,791 I love kids. 364 00:14:19,794 --> 00:14:21,046 What happened? 365 00:14:21,129 --> 00:14:23,048 Someone hit me! It hurts! 366 00:14:23,131 --> 00:14:25,050 - Let me see. - Oh no! 367 00:14:25,133 --> 00:14:26,384 You are fine. 368 00:14:26,468 --> 00:14:28,678 Okay quickly, sit back down so we can get started. 369 00:14:30,305 --> 00:14:31,139 Brave little man. 370 00:14:31,222 --> 00:14:31,931 Nice to meet you, David. 371 00:14:32,015 --> 00:14:34,267 It is. It's so nice to meet you. 372 00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:35,226 - Yeah. - Yeah. 373 00:14:35,310 --> 00:14:36,391 - Guess I'll see you later. 374 00:14:36,436 --> 00:14:37,436 - Yeah. 375 00:14:37,646 --> 00:14:39,189 See ya, Felix. Love you mate. 376 00:14:39,272 --> 00:14:40,357 Felix! 377 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,400 Love you, matey. See ya. 378 00:14:42,484 --> 00:14:44,194 Right, have fun. 379 00:14:44,277 --> 00:14:46,696 One two three. Eyes on me! 380 00:14:46,780 --> 00:14:48,990 One two! Eyes on you! 381 00:14:49,074 --> 00:14:50,450 Okay, it's time to 382 00:15:08,843 --> 00:15:10,279 Don't worry, Felix, I'll wait with you. 383 00:15:10,303 --> 00:15:11,596 Miss Caroline! 384 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:14,349 Oh, hello David. 385 00:15:14,432 --> 00:15:15,058 Hey. 386 00:15:15,141 --> 00:15:16,726 You can call me Audrey. 387 00:15:16,810 --> 00:15:19,104 Didn't think I was going to make it in time for pick up. 388 00:15:19,187 --> 00:15:21,189 Had this crazy rehearsal. 389 00:15:21,272 --> 00:15:23,400 I'm afraid he had a really rough day today. 390 00:15:23,733 --> 00:15:24,776 Who did? 391 00:15:24,859 --> 00:15:26,236 Felix. 392 00:15:27,195 --> 00:15:29,507 Well it's a good thing my band's finished rehearsing for the day. 393 00:15:29,531 --> 00:15:30,740 That's my band. 394 00:15:30,824 --> 00:15:32,784 God's Sledgehammer? 395 00:15:32,867 --> 00:15:33,868 That's right. 396 00:15:33,952 --> 00:15:34,869 Is that a Christian band? 397 00:15:34,953 --> 00:15:36,287 No. 398 00:15:36,371 --> 00:15:38,349 It's more of a stadium rock slash death metal band. 399 00:15:38,373 --> 00:15:41,251 Oh. Cause, I'm a Christian, so ah... 400 00:15:41,334 --> 00:15:42,585 It is a Christian band. 401 00:15:42,669 --> 00:15:44,421 I'm a Christian myself, actually. 402 00:15:44,504 --> 00:15:45,338 Audrey? 403 00:15:45,422 --> 00:15:46,798 - Oh, hey, Charlotte. - Oh, hello. 404 00:15:46,881 --> 00:15:49,008 Beth's older brother is really sick. 405 00:15:49,092 --> 00:15:50,552 - Oh no. - Oh, poor thing. 406 00:15:50,635 --> 00:15:52,446 It's gastro, but I'm afraid I won't be able to chaperone the 407 00:15:52,470 --> 00:15:54,931 excursion tomorrow. - Oh, of course. 408 00:15:55,014 --> 00:15:57,642 A lot of my class is off sick with gastro as well. 409 00:15:57,726 --> 00:15:59,120 I hope I'm not leaving you in the lurch. 410 00:15:59,144 --> 00:16:00,746 Do you think you'll be able to find someone else? 411 00:16:00,770 --> 00:16:02,814 Hey, that's me! I'm someone else. 412 00:16:02,897 --> 00:16:05,358 Where are we going, Miss Caroline? 413 00:16:08,111 --> 00:16:10,488 Mum, the force isn't working. 414 00:16:10,572 --> 00:16:12,657 Okay, so we take it out of this. 415 00:16:13,408 --> 00:16:15,869 Then you take you the blue safety cap off and you push the 416 00:16:15,952 --> 00:16:17,203 other end in here. 417 00:16:17,287 --> 00:16:20,165 So it's blue in the sky, orange in the thigh. 418 00:16:20,248 --> 00:16:21,708 Orange in the thigh! 419 00:16:21,791 --> 00:16:23,877 Yeah, I'm serious. Blue in the sky... 420 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,588 Orange in the thigh. I've got it, don't worry. 421 00:16:26,671 --> 00:16:28,006 He'll be fine. 422 00:16:28,089 --> 00:16:29,608 I'm actually looking forward to spending some quality time with 423 00:16:29,632 --> 00:16:31,092 my little Lord Vader. 424 00:16:31,176 --> 00:16:33,178 Can I bring this tomorrow, Uncle David? 425 00:16:33,261 --> 00:16:34,905 And that's the only reason you want to go on 426 00:16:34,929 --> 00:16:35,847 this excursion tomorrow? 427 00:16:35,930 --> 00:16:37,557 Yeah, what other reason would there be? 428 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:39,100 The one that teaches his kindy class. 429 00:16:39,184 --> 00:16:40,393 Miss Caroline? Come on. 430 00:16:40,477 --> 00:16:42,353 Every Dad has tried to make a pass at her. 431 00:16:42,437 --> 00:16:43,772 Well she's a Christian. 432 00:16:43,855 --> 00:16:45,899 I'm in a stadium rock slash death metal band. 433 00:16:45,982 --> 00:16:46,816 How's that gonna work? 434 00:16:46,900 --> 00:16:48,985 Mummy, I nearly had it. 435 00:16:49,068 --> 00:16:50,713 I was trying to understand why you would so readily 436 00:16:50,737 --> 00:16:52,530 volunteer for something that sounds like your 437 00:16:52,614 --> 00:16:53,656 worst nightmare. 438 00:16:53,740 --> 00:16:55,742 Maybe it's because I'm actually a good person. 439 00:16:55,825 --> 00:16:57,994 God, is that such a crazy idea? 440 00:17:02,957 --> 00:17:05,960 Fuck me. Jesus! Fuck! 441 00:17:44,874 --> 00:17:46,042 And louder now. 442 00:17:58,888 --> 00:18:02,058 Yes! Good job, guys. 443 00:18:03,184 --> 00:18:04,894 Hey, how long till we get going again? 444 00:18:04,978 --> 00:18:06,418 I'm still working on it. 445 00:18:06,479 --> 00:18:08,398 Sing 'Shake It Off' again! 446 00:18:08,481 --> 00:18:09,566 Yeah!! 447 00:18:09,649 --> 00:18:11,359 No! Sing something else! 448 00:18:11,442 --> 00:18:15,071 I think we've all had enough of Taylor Swift right now, guys. 449 00:18:15,154 --> 00:18:17,657 Can you sing another song, Miss Caroline? 450 00:18:17,740 --> 00:18:21,995 Well actually there's somebody on this bus who is a 451 00:18:22,078 --> 00:18:23,955 professional singer. 452 00:18:24,038 --> 00:18:27,083 Who knows what the word professional means? 453 00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:28,376 Beth? 454 00:18:28,459 --> 00:18:31,045 It means it's your proper job and you get paid money. 455 00:18:31,129 --> 00:18:34,132 - Very good, Beth. You become a professional when you're 456 00:18:34,215 --> 00:18:37,594 so good at something that you get paid to do it. 457 00:18:37,677 --> 00:18:40,889 I am a professional kindergarten teacher. 458 00:18:40,972 --> 00:18:44,267 And David is a professional singer. 459 00:18:44,350 --> 00:18:45,393 Isn't that right, David? 460 00:18:45,476 --> 00:18:46,978 Ah, that's correct. 461 00:18:47,061 --> 00:18:49,814 Yes, I am a professional singer-songwriter-guitarist. 462 00:18:49,898 --> 00:18:53,818 Maybe, if we all nicely ask David he'll come to the front 463 00:18:53,902 --> 00:18:55,904 of the bus and sing us all a song. 464 00:18:55,987 --> 00:18:56,987 What do you think, guys? 465 00:18:57,030 --> 00:18:58,030 - Yeah! - Yes! 466 00:18:58,072 --> 00:18:59,449 - Please! Please! 467 00:19:00,241 --> 00:19:01,701 - Louder! Louder! 468 00:19:01,784 --> 00:19:03,119 - No no no, I'm not prepared. 469 00:19:03,202 --> 00:19:03,995 I'm not... - Come on! 470 00:19:04,078 --> 00:19:06,247 Okay then. Right! Right, one song. 471 00:19:07,874 --> 00:19:10,418 Now sit down and be quiet so he can play. 472 00:19:14,505 --> 00:19:16,007 Ehm-Hi guys. 473 00:19:16,841 --> 00:19:18,384 Ehm-My name's David. 474 00:19:18,468 --> 00:19:20,887 I'm Felix's uncle and I'm also the lead singer 475 00:19:20,970 --> 00:19:24,432 slash frontman of my band, God's Sledgehammer. 476 00:19:24,515 --> 00:19:27,727 Oh, and let's not forget what Leviticus teaches us. 477 00:19:27,810 --> 00:19:30,730 If anyone curses their mother or their father, 478 00:19:30,813 --> 00:19:32,398 they must be put to death. 479 00:19:33,274 --> 00:19:35,443 That's in the bible. That's actually there. 480 00:19:35,526 --> 00:19:36,527 God wrote that. 481 00:19:36,903 --> 00:19:39,030 Ehm-This is one of my slower ditties. 482 00:19:39,614 --> 00:19:41,866 Ehm-A ballad, if you will. 483 00:20:32,458 --> 00:20:35,253 Might be a little much for everyone, you know? 484 00:20:36,295 --> 00:20:37,463 Yeah... 485 00:20:39,507 --> 00:20:40,967 Bus is fixed. 486 00:20:41,050 --> 00:20:42,844 Next stop, Pleasant Valley. 487 00:20:42,927 --> 00:20:44,554 Oh, thank God! Yes! 488 00:20:46,139 --> 00:20:47,932 Clap for David. 489 00:21:00,278 --> 00:21:02,238 - Section 19 clear. - Section 19. 490 00:21:02,321 --> 00:21:04,299 What's the point in flying seventeen hours on a 491 00:21:04,323 --> 00:21:07,368 plane to work in a country we're not even allowed to see? 492 00:21:07,452 --> 00:21:08,846 - Section 12 clear. - Section 12. 493 00:21:08,870 --> 00:21:10,538 This country's insane. Do you realise how 494 00:21:10,621 --> 00:21:12,498 many animals they have here that can kill you? 495 00:21:12,582 --> 00:21:13,708 Listen to this. 496 00:21:13,791 --> 00:21:17,378 The funnel web spider is the world's nastiest arachnid. 497 00:21:17,462 --> 00:21:20,131 The venom from this hairy spider's massive fangs attacks 498 00:21:20,214 --> 00:21:22,633 a person's nervous system, leading to death. 499 00:21:22,717 --> 00:21:25,136 The red-bellied black snake can grow up to seven feet long. 500 00:21:25,219 --> 00:21:26,345 Section 15 clear. 501 00:21:26,429 --> 00:21:28,639 The venom from its bite can cause skin cells to decay 502 00:21:28,723 --> 00:21:30,933 along with kidney failure leading to death. 503 00:21:31,017 --> 00:21:34,145 There is no known antivenom for the box jellyfish which is 504 00:21:34,228 --> 00:21:36,689 present throughout coastal waters of Australia. 505 00:21:36,773 --> 00:21:39,442 The sting instantly leads to necrosis and random muscle 506 00:21:39,525 --> 00:21:41,444 spasms and finally, cardiac arrest. 507 00:21:41,527 --> 00:21:44,822 Still, if I get flown back home without a koala bear, 508 00:21:44,906 --> 00:21:46,783 I'm gonna be pretty upset. 509 00:21:54,457 --> 00:21:56,209 Jesus, one of them's free! 510 00:21:58,586 --> 00:22:01,798 Back away from the body with your hands on your head! 511 00:22:16,354 --> 00:22:17,605 Patrol to Control Room. 512 00:22:17,688 --> 00:22:19,857 Project regeneration test subject has escaped. 513 00:22:19,941 --> 00:22:22,068 Containment breach and casualty in Section 24. 514 00:22:22,985 --> 00:22:25,530 Containment breach and casualty in Section 24! 515 00:22:25,613 --> 00:22:27,990 We have a large-scale breach at Section 25. 516 00:22:28,074 --> 00:22:29,742 Immediate lockdown. 517 00:22:29,826 --> 00:22:31,744 Wait here! I'll secure the door. 518 00:22:32,537 --> 00:22:33,737 Immediate lockdown. 519 00:22:37,375 --> 00:22:38,459 Immediate lockdown. 520 00:22:39,919 --> 00:22:41,963 Hey wait, should I call for back up or... 521 00:22:43,631 --> 00:22:44,757 What the fuck! 522 00:22:45,508 --> 00:22:47,009 Get off me! 523 00:22:47,093 --> 00:22:48,093 Get off! 524 00:22:48,136 --> 00:22:50,680 My ear! 525 00:22:55,351 --> 00:22:57,728 So it's 600 feet back down the road. 526 00:22:57,812 --> 00:22:58,812 Yeah. 527 00:22:58,855 --> 00:23:00,648 ] Mini-Golf! Mini-Golf. 528 00:23:00,731 --> 00:23:02,233 This is not the petting zoo. 529 00:23:02,316 --> 00:23:04,735 This is a US military facility, do you understand me? 530 00:23:05,236 --> 00:23:05,903 Yeah? 531 00:23:05,987 --> 00:23:07,989 Full code red. 532 00:23:08,072 --> 00:23:11,159 I repeat, this is a full code red alert. All personnel... 533 00:23:11,242 --> 00:23:14,328 Shit! Jimmy, open the gate! 534 00:23:14,412 --> 00:23:15,663 Open the gate! 535 00:23:15,746 --> 00:23:17,373 Open the goddamn gate! 536 00:23:18,457 --> 00:23:20,668 Close the gate! Close the gate! 537 00:23:54,535 --> 00:23:57,121 And our first rule is be safe, 538 00:23:57,205 --> 00:23:58,581 which means remember the dangers 539 00:23:58,664 --> 00:24:01,042 of touching and tasting things we don't recognize. 540 00:24:01,125 --> 00:24:05,963 Our rhyme: We can see, we can smell, we can hear... 541 00:24:06,047 --> 00:24:08,925 Oh my gosh! Uncle David! Teddy McGiggle! 542 00:24:09,008 --> 00:24:10,259 It's Teddy McGiggle! 543 00:24:10,343 --> 00:24:12,887 What? Oh my word! 544 00:24:13,763 --> 00:24:14,555 Argh! 545 00:24:14,639 --> 00:24:16,933 Teddy McGiggle! Yeah! 546 00:24:18,434 --> 00:24:21,479 Hi-ho kiddlywinks! 547 00:24:21,562 --> 00:24:23,439 Hi ho, Teddy! 548 00:24:24,315 --> 00:24:25,858 Hi ho, Teddy! 549 00:24:25,942 --> 00:24:28,277 Hi ho, Frogsie! 550 00:24:28,361 --> 00:24:31,739 Well, aren't we having a super-fun time on our 551 00:24:31,822 --> 00:24:33,658 trip down under! 552 00:24:33,741 --> 00:24:36,994 We've swam with the fish in the Great Barrier Reef. 553 00:24:37,078 --> 00:24:39,956 We've climbed to the top of the Harbour Bridge. 554 00:24:40,039 --> 00:24:45,127 And today, today we are visiting the Pleasant Valley Farm 555 00:24:45,211 --> 00:24:48,923 to meet and learn about all the cute Australian animals. 556 00:24:49,006 --> 00:24:51,342 I wanna cuddle from a koala! 557 00:24:51,425 --> 00:24:53,594 I bet you do, Frogsie! 558 00:24:55,179 --> 00:24:58,975 Look at the big crowd that's come out here to say hello to us 559 00:24:59,058 --> 00:25:01,018 and hello to you! 560 00:25:01,102 --> 00:25:04,397 What's your name, ya big bundle of sunshine? 561 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,107 Come on over here. 562 00:25:06,190 --> 00:25:09,318 Why don't you guys let the beautiful yellow lady 563 00:25:09,402 --> 00:25:10,278 come on through. 564 00:25:10,361 --> 00:25:12,113 What's your name, little lady? 565 00:25:12,196 --> 00:25:14,824 Miss Caroline. But my friends call me Audrey. 566 00:25:14,907 --> 00:25:16,909 My kids call me Miss Caroline. 567 00:25:16,993 --> 00:25:19,078 Not my kids kids. My students. 568 00:25:19,161 --> 00:25:20,454 They call me Miss Caroline. 569 00:25:20,538 --> 00:25:24,417 Well, that is a beautiful origin story if I've ever heard one. 570 00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:28,337 All I know is, your kiddlywinks sure are lucky to have a teacher 571 00:25:28,421 --> 00:25:31,549 as pretty as you, Miss Caroline. 572 00:25:31,632 --> 00:25:35,261 Well I wanna give Miss Caroline a cuddle! 573 00:25:36,554 --> 00:25:38,889 I bet ya do, Frogsie! 574 00:25:38,973 --> 00:25:40,850 What do you guys say we do the McGiggle Dance? 575 00:25:40,933 --> 00:25:42,018 Yeah!! 576 00:25:42,101 --> 00:25:44,478 What do you say we do the McGiggle Dance 577 00:25:44,562 --> 00:25:46,814 and get this party started! 578 00:25:46,897 --> 00:25:48,524 Yeah!! 579 00:25:51,319 --> 00:25:53,112 Excellent job, everybody. 580 00:25:55,906 --> 00:25:58,075 Settle down there, kiddlywinks. 581 00:25:58,159 --> 00:26:01,162 There's more than enough Teddy to go around. 582 00:26:04,498 --> 00:26:06,310 Remember to be nice and gentle. 583 00:26:53,005 --> 00:26:54,006 Rock on, man. 584 00:26:57,259 --> 00:26:58,469 Nice, man! 585 00:26:58,552 --> 00:26:59,804 Yeah, do you wanna come up? 586 00:26:59,887 --> 00:27:01,055 All the way up to your ear. 587 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,141 Do it one more time, one more time. 588 00:27:04,225 --> 00:27:05,601 All the way up to your ear. 589 00:27:06,519 --> 00:27:07,978 Everyone's watching. No pressure. 590 00:27:13,901 --> 00:27:15,486 Yeah, rock on, idiot. 591 00:27:15,569 --> 00:27:17,530 What did we learn? Yes, Felix. 592 00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:25,871 We've got a full breach here! A full breach! 593 00:27:25,955 --> 00:27:27,581 Somebody get up here and help me! 594 00:27:27,665 --> 00:27:29,583 They're escaping from the complex! 595 00:27:31,210 --> 00:27:32,670 Get up here now! 596 00:27:32,753 --> 00:27:34,922 Now! Now! 597 00:28:15,129 --> 00:28:17,590 One, two, three. Eyes on me. 598 00:28:17,673 --> 00:28:20,384 On two. Eyes on you! 599 00:28:20,468 --> 00:28:23,596 We clean up and then we get to meet Kimby again. 600 00:28:23,679 --> 00:28:26,724 She's going to take us on a special ride and then when we 601 00:28:26,807 --> 00:28:29,727 get back to the farm, there'll be a surprise waiting for us. 602 00:28:29,810 --> 00:28:30,853 Is it putt-putt golf? 603 00:28:30,936 --> 00:28:32,855 Are we gonna play putt-putt golf? 604 00:28:32,938 --> 00:28:34,815 I said it was a surprise. 605 00:28:34,899 --> 00:28:36,251 I'm going to count backwards from ten. 606 00:28:36,275 --> 00:28:38,569 By the time I get to one, I want you all in a line 607 00:28:38,652 --> 00:28:40,053 in front of me. And away we go. Ten! 608 00:28:40,529 --> 00:28:41,697 Nine! 609 00:28:41,780 --> 00:28:43,467 - Miss Caroline can we... - David, just call me Audrey. 610 00:28:43,491 --> 00:28:44,575 Eight! 611 00:28:44,658 --> 00:28:46,094 - Yeah, I feel like I haven't been helping enough. 612 00:28:46,118 --> 00:28:47,578 - Seven! - Can I get more involved? 613 00:28:47,661 --> 00:28:49,788 Six! Yeah, you can help Kim with the rubbish. 614 00:28:49,872 --> 00:28:50,706 Five! 615 00:28:50,789 --> 00:28:53,083 Rubbish? Wait, are you married? 616 00:28:53,167 --> 00:28:54,752 No. Four! 617 00:28:54,835 --> 00:28:56,504 Oh, not yet. That's my engagement ring. 618 00:28:56,587 --> 00:28:57,630 Three! 619 00:28:57,713 --> 00:28:58,713 You're with a guy? 620 00:28:59,256 --> 00:29:01,342 My fiance, Ian, yes. 621 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,135 Two! 622 00:29:03,719 --> 00:29:05,846 And one! 623 00:29:06,847 --> 00:29:08,516 Very good. Okay, let's go. 624 00:29:08,599 --> 00:29:11,060 Okay, who's excited about the surprise? 625 00:29:12,311 --> 00:29:13,479 Bye bye rubbish! 626 00:29:13,562 --> 00:29:15,606 Welcome everyone to the 627 00:29:15,689 --> 00:29:17,858 Pleasant Valley Farm experience. 628 00:29:17,942 --> 00:29:20,236 Who wants to see some sheep? 629 00:29:20,319 --> 00:29:21,654 Yeah!! 630 00:29:21,737 --> 00:29:23,882 Well that's lucky, because you're about to meet Pleasant 631 00:29:23,906 --> 00:29:26,909 Valley's flock of resident mammals. 632 00:29:26,992 --> 00:29:29,245 Isn't the tractor amazing, Uncle David? 633 00:29:29,745 --> 00:29:31,956 Even though sheep aren't native to Australia, 634 00:29:32,039 --> 00:29:34,124 we certainly do have a lot of them. 635 00:29:34,208 --> 00:29:36,001 - Where are the sheep? - I can't see any. 636 00:29:36,085 --> 00:29:38,254 They're usually around here. 637 00:29:39,046 --> 00:29:40,381 They must be hiding. 638 00:29:51,934 --> 00:29:53,644 I've just gotta check on something ahead. 639 00:29:54,979 --> 00:29:56,739 Sorry we haven't seen any sheep yet, kiddies. 640 00:29:56,772 --> 00:29:58,065 What is it, Miss Caroline? 641 00:29:58,148 --> 00:30:00,234 I don't know, Kim. Must be something in the way. 642 00:30:00,317 --> 00:30:02,069 Maybe it's your Dad, Felix. 643 00:30:02,152 --> 00:30:03,070 No it isn't. 644 00:30:03,153 --> 00:30:04,196 Yeah Max. 645 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:06,407 For all we know, you don't have a Dad either. 646 00:30:06,490 --> 00:30:08,718 I've never seen any evidence of him when I'm visiting your Mum. 647 00:30:08,742 --> 00:30:09,742 Do you know my Mum? 648 00:30:09,785 --> 00:30:10,828 Ah-ha. 649 00:30:10,911 --> 00:30:13,455 Okay. David, may I have a word with you, please? 650 00:30:19,503 --> 00:30:20,796 Hey! 651 00:30:20,879 --> 00:30:23,215 What are you doin' to our sheep, mate? 652 00:30:23,299 --> 00:30:25,968 Look, I don't know what's going on with you right now but 653 00:30:26,051 --> 00:30:27,595 that kind of behaviour is unacceptable. 654 00:30:27,678 --> 00:30:29,805 - Well Max started it! - Max is five years old. 655 00:30:29,888 --> 00:30:32,725 And if you can't use appropriate language with a five-year-old 656 00:30:32,808 --> 00:30:35,078 I'm going to have to ask you to disembark the tractor train and 657 00:30:35,102 --> 00:30:36,395 wait for us back at the bus. 658 00:30:36,478 --> 00:30:38,230 Fucking hell! Fuck! 659 00:30:38,314 --> 00:30:39,189 Fuck! 660 00:30:39,273 --> 00:30:40,190 Kimby! 661 00:30:40,274 --> 00:30:42,318 Bad word, bad word! 662 00:30:42,401 --> 00:30:44,903 Kimby, this kind of behaviour... 663 00:30:59,168 --> 00:31:00,044 Oh God! 664 00:31:00,127 --> 00:31:02,171 David! Start the tractor! 665 00:31:06,008 --> 00:31:08,719 Why do you get to drive the tractor, Uncle David? 666 00:31:12,848 --> 00:31:14,725 Miss Caroline! I'm coming! 667 00:31:15,601 --> 00:31:17,186 Push the clutch pedal down. 668 00:31:17,269 --> 00:31:18,562 Where? 669 00:31:18,646 --> 00:31:20,790 The clutch pedal is on the left. The brake is on the other side. 670 00:31:20,814 --> 00:31:21,814 Like this? 671 00:31:24,777 --> 00:31:26,987 Have you got the parking brake off, Uncle David? 672 00:31:27,071 --> 00:31:27,863 I don't know! 673 00:31:27,946 --> 00:31:29,907 The parking brake is that side too. 674 00:31:29,990 --> 00:31:31,533 Why do you know so much about tractors? 675 00:31:31,617 --> 00:31:32,701 I love tractors. 676 00:31:33,410 --> 00:31:34,578 Oh Jesus! 677 00:31:35,621 --> 00:31:37,206 Are you okay Miss Caroline? 678 00:31:37,289 --> 00:31:39,500 Just, ah, having a chat to Kimby. 679 00:31:41,168 --> 00:31:42,168 Oh shit! 680 00:31:55,140 --> 00:31:57,393 - What do I do? - Just keep driving! 681 00:32:01,397 --> 00:32:03,732 Miss Caroline, are you okay? 682 00:32:03,816 --> 00:32:04,942 Yes. 683 00:32:05,025 --> 00:32:06,235 Rightio! 684 00:32:06,318 --> 00:32:08,195 You remember this one, right? 685 00:32:38,642 --> 00:32:40,811 Who knows what unpredictable means? 686 00:32:42,521 --> 00:32:44,231 Don't be scared. Don't be scared. 687 00:32:44,314 --> 00:32:46,608 This is the surprise I was talking about. 688 00:32:55,325 --> 00:32:57,202 David, why are you stopping? 689 00:32:57,995 --> 00:32:59,413 Because the road is blocked. 690 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,207 I don't know how to explain what I'm seeing. 691 00:33:07,379 --> 00:33:08,255 Okay. 692 00:33:08,338 --> 00:33:09,590 One, two, three, eyes on me. 693 00:33:09,673 --> 00:33:11,592 One, two, eyes on you'! 694 00:33:11,675 --> 00:33:13,761 Who remembers how to play tag? 695 00:33:13,844 --> 00:33:16,805 Good. Well, those funny looking people out there are it. 696 00:33:16,889 --> 00:33:19,433 How do I go backwards? 697 00:33:19,516 --> 00:33:21,202 And we don't want to let the funny people touch us. 698 00:33:21,226 --> 00:33:23,228 - Look! Isn't she good at it! - Yeah! 699 00:33:23,312 --> 00:33:25,314 I'm gonna need you to stick together in a line. 700 00:33:25,397 --> 00:33:26,482 So quick sticks! 701 00:33:26,565 --> 00:33:30,194 Ready, steady Conga! 702 00:33:31,528 --> 00:33:32,528 Conga? 703 00:33:34,740 --> 00:33:35,991 ] Conga, conga, conga! 704 00:33:36,533 --> 00:33:38,243 Conga, conga, conga! 705 00:33:38,827 --> 00:33:40,579 Conga, conga, conga! 706 00:33:41,205 --> 00:33:42,998 Conga, conga, conga! 707 00:33:47,669 --> 00:33:49,004 This way, kiddies! 708 00:34:17,324 --> 00:34:18,700 He almost stabbed you! 709 00:34:18,784 --> 00:34:20,619 Yeah, didn't get me though! 710 00:34:22,162 --> 00:34:23,803 This way to the bus, kids. 711 00:34:25,874 --> 00:34:29,545 Old MacDonald had a farm Ee-eye-ee-eye-oh! 712 00:34:29,628 --> 00:34:31,088 Watch out, Dave! 713 00:34:34,508 --> 00:34:36,385 Look! Ducks! 714 00:34:41,515 --> 00:34:42,850 There's the bus! 715 00:34:44,101 --> 00:34:45,462 We're almost there. 716 00:34:48,272 --> 00:34:49,272 On! 717 00:34:52,651 --> 00:34:56,071 They're in the bus! Don't come this way! 718 00:34:56,154 --> 00:34:57,906 Okay, change of plan. 719 00:35:04,788 --> 00:35:06,081 It's locked! 720 00:35:06,164 --> 00:35:07,164 Go away! 721 00:35:07,541 --> 00:35:10,335 Open the door! Teddy McGiggle, it's me! 722 00:35:11,044 --> 00:35:12,462 Oh, I'm so sorry. 723 00:35:12,546 --> 00:35:13,547 I didn't see you there! 724 00:35:13,630 --> 00:35:15,841 But see the problem is I was here first, 725 00:35:15,924 --> 00:35:17,467 so you gotta go fuck yourself. 726 00:35:17,551 --> 00:35:18,218 Bad word! 727 00:35:18,302 --> 00:35:19,970 We have kids out here! 728 00:35:20,053 --> 00:35:23,015 Oh! Oh my God! I don't give a shit. 729 00:35:23,098 --> 00:35:24,933 You can't leave the kids out here! 730 00:35:28,312 --> 00:35:30,397 Unlock the door! - Unlock my dick! 731 00:35:31,565 --> 00:35:32,565 This way. 732 00:35:32,608 --> 00:35:33,525 Oh! Look. 733 00:35:33,609 --> 00:35:35,652 Okay, who wants to be a wiggle worm? 734 00:35:35,736 --> 00:35:37,988 - What the fuck are you doing? Get them away from here! 735 00:35:38,071 --> 00:35:40,574 - In you go. Nice and safe. Nice and safe. 736 00:35:40,657 --> 00:35:43,994 Hey! He's meals on wheels! Leave him! 737 00:35:45,954 --> 00:35:47,831 And down you go. 738 00:35:48,332 --> 00:35:50,667 Hey! Get her to stop doing that! 739 00:35:50,751 --> 00:35:51,835 Open the door! 740 00:35:51,919 --> 00:35:53,837 - You're leading them all over here! 741 00:35:53,921 --> 00:35:57,132 - Are you serious? Those little fuckers can all die! 742 00:35:57,215 --> 00:35:58,800 What the hell is wrong with you? 743 00:35:58,884 --> 00:36:01,261 You're both being real cocks right now. 744 00:36:07,434 --> 00:36:09,186 Miss Caroline! Help! 745 00:36:17,361 --> 00:36:18,695 Miss Caroline! 746 00:36:40,133 --> 00:36:41,927 Let us in, please! 747 00:36:42,010 --> 00:36:43,720 No, you're not coming in. Go away. 748 00:36:48,141 --> 00:36:49,685 Wait, what is that? 749 00:36:49,768 --> 00:36:51,103 Who's on my roof? 750 00:36:51,937 --> 00:36:52,980 Just stop it! 751 00:36:53,063 --> 00:36:55,232 Get the fuck off of it! 752 00:36:56,525 --> 00:36:59,611 You bring those bastards here, I'll fucking kill you! 753 00:37:16,336 --> 00:37:17,379 What are you doing? 754 00:37:18,213 --> 00:37:19,923 What the... Jesus! 755 00:37:34,604 --> 00:37:36,124 I'm gonna make you eat my dick! 756 00:37:36,148 --> 00:37:38,150 Bad word, bad word. 757 00:37:38,233 --> 00:37:40,777 Cos you said a bad word. 758 00:37:40,861 --> 00:37:43,196 Now we all have to sing- 759 00:37:58,003 --> 00:38:00,422 Come here you pretty little chubby princess! 760 00:38:03,633 --> 00:38:06,803 I'm gonna bash this on your head, you fat fucking monkey. 761 00:38:06,887 --> 00:38:08,638 You're a fucking psycho. 762 00:38:08,722 --> 00:38:11,099 - Get away from that door, boy genius. 763 00:38:22,944 --> 00:38:24,112 Shit. 764 00:38:25,238 --> 00:38:26,448 My face! 765 00:38:31,578 --> 00:38:32,578 No! 766 00:38:48,595 --> 00:38:50,180 - Hey! - Hi, Uncle David. 767 00:39:04,778 --> 00:39:06,279 Attention all units. 768 00:39:06,363 --> 00:39:08,865 Attention all units. Reinforcements have arrived. 769 00:39:08,949 --> 00:39:10,659 Set up a perimeter. 770 00:39:20,961 --> 00:39:22,212 Door's secure. 771 00:39:22,921 --> 00:39:24,840 Still no signal, though. 772 00:39:25,549 --> 00:39:27,217 Miss Caroline! Miss Caroline! 773 00:39:27,300 --> 00:39:28,802 Max, that's not safe. 774 00:39:28,885 --> 00:39:30,720 Put it back where you found it. 775 00:39:32,013 --> 00:39:33,515 There's no landline, either. 776 00:39:33,598 --> 00:39:34,641 This is fun. 777 00:39:34,724 --> 00:39:36,601 It is a bit scary. 778 00:39:36,685 --> 00:39:38,937 - It's meant to be scary. It's part of the game. 779 00:39:39,020 --> 00:39:41,439 And you know what? 780 00:39:41,523 --> 00:39:43,984 We all just won first level. 781 00:39:44,818 --> 00:39:45,652 Yes. 782 00:39:45,735 --> 00:39:47,779 How many more levels will there be? 783 00:39:47,863 --> 00:39:49,698 Mmm, Max! 784 00:39:49,781 --> 00:39:51,783 When will we play putt-putt golf? 785 00:39:51,867 --> 00:39:53,201 Later. 786 00:39:53,285 --> 00:39:54,285 Kim? 787 00:39:54,327 --> 00:39:56,329 What's wrong with Teddy McGiggle? 788 00:39:57,581 --> 00:40:01,293 Teddy McGiggle is just not happy because we're winning. 789 00:40:01,376 --> 00:40:04,880 Nobody's coming for us. We're all gonna die. 790 00:40:05,213 --> 00:40:07,465 Are we gonna die, Miss Caroline? 791 00:40:07,549 --> 00:40:09,593 No, of course not. 792 00:40:09,676 --> 00:40:12,179 My job is to keep you safe. That's what I'll do. 793 00:40:12,262 --> 00:40:13,638 Where's Frogsie? 794 00:40:14,472 --> 00:40:15,765 Frogsie didn't make it. 795 00:40:16,516 --> 00:40:19,519 I need you to calm down, Teddy McGiggle. 796 00:40:19,603 --> 00:40:21,479 Don't you dare tell me what to do. 797 00:40:22,314 --> 00:40:25,609 Those things out there, they ate my cameraman. 798 00:40:26,276 --> 00:40:27,652 They ate him. 799 00:40:31,364 --> 00:40:32,574 And not just them. 800 00:40:32,657 --> 00:40:34,284 Little dead-eyed kids. 801 00:40:34,367 --> 00:40:35,702 The children of the corn. 802 00:40:35,785 --> 00:40:38,914 And if they don't eat you you get bit, 803 00:40:38,997 --> 00:40:40,540 and then you become one of them. 804 00:40:43,043 --> 00:40:44,628 They're zombies. 805 00:40:44,711 --> 00:40:46,254 Like in the shooty game? 806 00:40:46,338 --> 00:40:48,632 Like in the shooty game! Can you tell us what the 807 00:40:48,715 --> 00:40:52,219 zombies do in the shooty game please, Felix? 808 00:40:52,302 --> 00:40:54,304 Well if you make noise, they hear you. 809 00:40:54,387 --> 00:40:57,265 They walk around and try to bite you and the only way you 810 00:40:57,349 --> 00:41:00,560 can stop them is by shooting them in the face with your 811 00:41:00,644 --> 00:41:02,896 shooty gun or chopping their heads off. 812 00:41:02,979 --> 00:41:05,523 Okay, but are the zombies real? 813 00:41:06,066 --> 00:41:07,651 No, it's just a game. 814 00:41:07,734 --> 00:41:11,071 But Uncle David lets me play it when my Mum"s asleep. 815 00:41:13,031 --> 00:41:14,157 Well, there you go. 816 00:41:14,241 --> 00:41:16,326 The zombies are not real. 817 00:41:16,409 --> 00:41:18,453 Like fuck they're not! 818 00:41:18,536 --> 00:41:20,622 The Easter bunny isn't fucking real! 819 00:41:20,705 --> 00:41:23,375 Father fucking Christmas isn't real! 820 00:41:23,458 --> 00:41:27,963 These inquisitive dead-eyed fucking faces are real! 821 00:41:28,046 --> 00:41:32,926 Bad word, bad word Cos you said a bad thing! 822 00:41:33,718 --> 00:41:35,845 Shut the fuck up! 823 00:41:36,263 --> 00:41:37,931 Teddy McGiggle's gonna fill you guys in 824 00:41:38,014 --> 00:41:40,141 on some fast-breaking news. Bad word song? 825 00:41:40,225 --> 00:41:43,019 That existed at a time when people weren't having their 826 00:41:43,103 --> 00:41:46,106 faces ripped off by motherfucking zombies. 827 00:41:46,189 --> 00:41:48,066 Fuckity fuck fuck! 828 00:41:48,149 --> 00:41:50,735 Fuck! You fucking little duckies. 829 00:41:50,819 --> 00:41:53,947 Teddy just needs a cuddle. 830 00:41:54,030 --> 00:41:55,865 Come! Let's have a word. 831 00:41:56,449 --> 00:41:57,534 I don't want a cuddle. 832 00:41:57,617 --> 00:42:01,079 Okay, you're going to change that attitude right now. 833 00:42:01,162 --> 00:42:02,872 Fucking zombies. 834 00:42:04,708 --> 00:42:06,793 This is not a negotiation. 835 00:42:08,336 --> 00:42:09,546 Hey guys, who's hungry? 836 00:42:09,629 --> 00:42:10,629 Yeah! 837 00:42:10,672 --> 00:42:12,966 Yeah? Okay. Well come get some. 838 00:42:13,049 --> 00:42:14,217 Here you go, mate. 839 00:42:14,301 --> 00:42:16,177 Are these okay, Uncle David? 840 00:42:16,261 --> 00:42:16,970 Yeah. 841 00:42:17,053 --> 00:42:19,139 Why is Teddy McGiggle crying? 842 00:42:19,514 --> 00:42:21,141 I'm a celebrity! 843 00:42:21,224 --> 00:42:23,393 No, you're a liability. 844 00:42:23,476 --> 00:42:26,479 I have no idea what we're all dealing with here, but my only 845 00:42:26,563 --> 00:42:29,524 responsibility is for these children's safety. 846 00:42:29,607 --> 00:42:33,069 If they are put in danger by anyone outside or inside this 847 00:42:33,153 --> 00:42:37,741 souvenir kiosk my job is to remove that danger. 848 00:42:37,824 --> 00:42:40,285 I'm not going to let these children be traumatised by 849 00:42:40,368 --> 00:42:43,371 having them think a zombie is going to eat them alive. 850 00:42:43,455 --> 00:42:47,000 So right at this very moment, these children believe they're 851 00:42:47,083 --> 00:42:48,793 in the middle of a game. 852 00:42:48,877 --> 00:42:51,588 A fun, harmless game. 853 00:42:51,671 --> 00:42:53,941 So if you don't turn that frown upside down then so help me God 854 00:42:53,965 --> 00:42:57,469 I am going to drag you out by that stupid bow tie and watch 855 00:42:57,552 --> 00:42:59,429 them rip you apart. 856 00:42:59,512 --> 00:43:01,514 Do I make myself clear? 857 00:43:03,099 --> 00:43:06,269 Let me hear you say it's a game, so loud they can hear. 858 00:43:06,895 --> 00:43:08,146 It's a game. 859 00:43:08,229 --> 00:43:10,315 In the voice, you moron. 860 00:43:10,398 --> 00:43:13,443 It's a game! This is a game! 861 00:43:14,235 --> 00:43:15,445 Do the laugh. 862 00:43:15,528 --> 00:43:17,113 I don't want to. 863 00:43:17,197 --> 00:43:18,865 Do the laugh. 864 00:43:24,371 --> 00:43:26,081 And stop fucking swearing. 865 00:43:31,378 --> 00:43:33,213 You can consider this the naughty corner. 866 00:43:36,966 --> 00:43:38,218 You okay? 867 00:43:38,301 --> 00:43:39,719 Cough it up, mate. 868 00:43:41,262 --> 00:43:42,347 Cough it up. 869 00:43:43,723 --> 00:43:45,141 What did you eat, Felix? 870 00:43:45,225 --> 00:43:46,518 It's anaphylaxis. 871 00:43:46,601 --> 00:43:48,520 No. No, they're just chips. 872 00:43:48,603 --> 00:43:50,230 They'd have dairy in them. 873 00:43:50,313 --> 00:43:52,315 Who the fuck puts milk in chips? 874 00:43:52,774 --> 00:43:53,983 Just breathe, okay? 875 00:43:54,067 --> 00:43:54,943 What do we do? 876 00:43:55,026 --> 00:43:55,735 My bumbag. 877 00:43:55,819 --> 00:43:57,695 The Adrenipen was in my bumbag. 878 00:43:57,779 --> 00:43:59,656 I've got one. I've got one. I've got one. 879 00:43:59,739 --> 00:44:01,157 - Give... - I can do it. I can do it. 880 00:44:01,241 --> 00:44:03,410 Okay. Okay kids. 881 00:44:03,493 --> 00:44:06,413 Don't worry, Felix just needs some room, okay? 882 00:44:06,496 --> 00:44:07,414 Here we go. 883 00:44:07,497 --> 00:44:10,750 Orange in the sky, blue in the thigh. 884 00:44:12,335 --> 00:44:13,586 Owww 885 00:44:15,130 --> 00:44:15,797 What? 886 00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:17,090 No no, it's fine. Here... 887 00:44:17,173 --> 00:44:18,758 No, you can't re-insert it. 888 00:44:18,842 --> 00:44:19,968 No. No! 889 00:44:21,344 --> 00:44:22,655 There's a spare. Tess packs a spare. 890 00:44:22,679 --> 00:44:23,513 Where is it? 891 00:44:23,596 --> 00:44:25,014 It's-it's- It's in his backpack. 892 00:44:27,392 --> 00:44:28,935 I'll go get it. I'll go get it. 893 00:44:29,018 --> 00:44:30,645 Don't leave. 894 00:44:35,108 --> 00:44:36,025 Okay kids. 895 00:44:37,444 --> 00:44:40,321 No no no, I'm right here, bud. I'm right here. 896 00:44:40,405 --> 00:44:41,656 Listen very carefully. 897 00:44:41,739 --> 00:44:43,867 I need you to stay here with David. 898 00:44:43,950 --> 00:44:47,412 Holds hands and don't let go until I get back, okay? 899 00:44:48,496 --> 00:44:49,622 Breathe. 900 00:44:49,706 --> 00:44:50,999 You'll be alright. 901 00:44:51,082 --> 00:44:53,209 Get them to stop the game, Miss Caroline! 902 00:44:53,293 --> 00:44:54,335 Don't worry about it. 903 00:44:54,419 --> 00:44:56,337 I'll just pop right up and let them know, okay? 904 00:44:56,421 --> 00:44:57,922 Breathe! You're right, mate. 905 00:44:58,006 --> 00:44:59,132 You'll be alright. 906 00:44:59,215 --> 00:45:00,467 Here we go. 907 00:45:00,550 --> 00:45:01,384 And breathing. 908 00:45:58,149 --> 00:46:00,151 Just try to breathe, mate. Please. 909 00:46:00,235 --> 00:46:01,569 Keep breathing. 910 00:46:26,052 --> 00:46:27,905 We get through this, you can dress up as Darth Vader and 911 00:46:27,929 --> 00:46:29,406 play the shooty game as much as you want. 912 00:46:29,430 --> 00:46:30,807 I don't care what your Mum says. 913 00:46:49,993 --> 00:46:50,993 You! 914 00:46:54,706 --> 00:46:55,706 Oh!! 915 00:47:06,175 --> 00:47:08,011 Guys, what do we do when we're scared? 916 00:47:08,094 --> 00:47:09,220 What's a song we can sing? 917 00:47:09,304 --> 00:47:10,346 What's his favourite song? 918 00:47:10,430 --> 00:47:11,264 Shake It Off. 919 00:47:11,347 --> 00:47:13,266 Shake It Off? Well how's it start? 920 00:47:13,349 --> 00:47:14,550 Beth, can you sing it for him? 921 00:47:15,643 --> 00:47:17,437 I stay up too late 922 00:47:19,063 --> 00:47:20,315 Got nothin' in my... 923 00:47:30,158 --> 00:47:31,200 Typical. 924 00:48:14,035 --> 00:48:15,453 Oh yes! Quick. 925 00:48:15,536 --> 00:48:16,704 Is that it? 926 00:48:16,788 --> 00:48:17,955 Here we go, mate. 927 00:48:19,624 --> 00:48:21,376 Oh here we go. Here we go. 928 00:48:24,003 --> 00:48:25,046 Yes. 929 00:48:28,383 --> 00:48:29,884 Did it work? 930 00:48:29,967 --> 00:48:31,302 Well? 931 00:48:41,437 --> 00:48:42,647 Oh God! 932 00:48:44,691 --> 00:48:46,025 Thank you, Miss Caroline. 933 00:48:46,109 --> 00:48:47,402 It's my job. 934 00:48:48,361 --> 00:48:50,571 And you've got to call me Audrey. 935 00:48:50,655 --> 00:48:51,655 Oh. 936 00:48:54,617 --> 00:48:55,827 Oohh! 937 00:48:55,910 --> 00:48:59,956 Oh. I-got caught in the middle of a jam fight! 938 00:49:01,374 --> 00:49:03,668 Covered in strawberry jam. 939 00:49:03,751 --> 00:49:05,253 Don't taste it, okay? 940 00:49:06,796 --> 00:49:07,714 What jam? 941 00:49:07,797 --> 00:49:08,965 Felix will be fine. 942 00:49:09,048 --> 00:49:10,842 Yeah!! 943 00:49:25,356 --> 00:49:26,858 Stop screaming! 944 00:49:26,941 --> 00:49:28,860 Wait a sec. Just shut up! 945 00:49:28,943 --> 00:49:30,945 What is that noise? 946 00:49:31,028 --> 00:49:32,405 That's a helicopter! 947 00:49:32,488 --> 00:49:34,198 They've come to get me! 948 00:49:34,741 --> 00:49:36,659 Get out of my way! 949 00:49:37,785 --> 00:49:39,871 - What the... - Oh! I'm coming! 950 00:49:39,954 --> 00:49:41,539 They've found me! 951 00:49:42,915 --> 00:49:45,418 Hey! Hey! Hey! 952 00:49:46,878 --> 00:49:48,212 It's me! 953 00:49:48,296 --> 00:49:49,547 I need help here! 954 00:49:51,466 --> 00:49:53,718 Fuck! Oh fuck! 955 00:49:53,801 --> 00:49:55,803 Oh fuck! 956 00:49:57,138 --> 00:49:58,138 Shit! 957 00:50:00,475 --> 00:50:01,559 Fuck! 958 00:50:02,101 --> 00:50:04,771 Open up! Hey! Can you open the door? 959 00:50:04,854 --> 00:50:06,689 I'm sorry about what happened before, 960 00:50:06,773 --> 00:50:08,983 but you get the fuck over here! 961 00:50:09,066 --> 00:50:10,193 Please! 962 00:50:10,276 --> 00:50:11,861 I'm just scared. 963 00:50:11,944 --> 00:50:13,613 Open the door! 964 00:50:13,696 --> 00:50:15,573 You're being a bad teacher! 965 00:50:15,656 --> 00:50:17,408 Fuck your teaching method! 966 00:50:17,492 --> 00:50:19,952 This is a terrible example you're setting! 967 00:50:28,336 --> 00:50:30,296 Teddy! Come on! 968 00:50:30,379 --> 00:50:32,006 - Help! - Come on! 969 00:50:32,089 --> 00:50:33,466 - Help me! - Give me your hand! 970 00:50:33,549 --> 00:50:34,967 - Please! - Come on. 971 00:50:36,969 --> 00:50:37,969 Quick, man. 972 00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:56,739 Oh, this is all my fault. 973 00:50:56,823 --> 00:50:58,741 God is punishing me. 974 00:50:58,825 --> 00:51:00,117 Wait, what do you mean? 975 00:51:00,201 --> 00:51:02,161 I've been bad, man. 976 00:51:02,245 --> 00:51:04,038 I've been really fuckin' bad. 977 00:51:04,121 --> 00:51:05,832 I'm sure we've all done things we regret. 978 00:51:05,915 --> 00:51:07,959 I fucked a shit tonne of moms. 979 00:51:08,042 --> 00:51:10,044 We're talking thousands. 980 00:51:10,628 --> 00:51:11,796 Thousands. 981 00:51:11,879 --> 00:51:15,591 I was doing my first public appearance and this sweet little 982 00:51:15,675 --> 00:51:20,263 single mom came up to me after the autograph signing. 983 00:51:20,346 --> 00:51:24,058 She was so fuckin' beautiful and I went down on her pussy in a 984 00:51:24,141 --> 00:51:26,853 south coast plaza disabled toilet. 985 00:51:26,936 --> 00:51:28,688 And then it was just on. 986 00:51:28,771 --> 00:51:30,982 I took whoever I could get. 987 00:51:31,065 --> 00:51:34,360 Single moms, married moms, pregnant moms, white moms, 988 00:51:34,443 --> 00:51:36,404 black moms, dyke moms. 989 00:51:36,487 --> 00:51:37,655 Jews. 990 00:51:38,781 --> 00:51:40,074 My nephew almost died... 991 00:51:40,157 --> 00:51:42,702 I studied at the Actors Studio. 992 00:51:42,785 --> 00:51:45,788 I learnt Meisner from Pacino. 993 00:51:46,330 --> 00:51:47,330 Al. 994 00:51:49,375 --> 00:51:51,919 You think I wanted to be in a polka dot suit 995 00:51:52,003 --> 00:51:53,671 for the rest of my life? 996 00:51:54,672 --> 00:51:56,716 I fuckin' hate those little kiddlywinks. 997 00:51:57,967 --> 00:52:00,303 Fucking the shit out of their moms was the only thing that 998 00:52:00,386 --> 00:52:01,637 made it better. 999 00:52:01,721 --> 00:52:03,139 Until it didn't. 1000 00:52:03,222 --> 00:52:04,849 You realise that you're only doing it- 1001 00:52:05,474 --> 00:52:06,726 Look at me. 1002 00:52:06,809 --> 00:52:08,519 You realise that you're only doing it 1003 00:52:08,603 --> 00:52:10,813 because you're dead inside. 1004 00:52:12,607 --> 00:52:14,692 And it's the only thing that's keeping you 1005 00:52:14,775 --> 00:52:16,277 from killing yourself. 1006 00:52:19,113 --> 00:52:20,239 I'm Dave. 1007 00:52:21,782 --> 00:52:24,493 Teddy McGiggle isn't even my real name. 1008 00:52:25,161 --> 00:52:26,329 It's Nathan. 1009 00:52:26,954 --> 00:52:28,164 Nathan McGiggle? 1010 00:52:28,247 --> 00:52:29,582 Nathan Schneider. 1011 00:52:29,665 --> 00:52:30,665 Oh. 1012 00:52:33,252 --> 00:52:35,504 What is that awful smell? 1013 00:52:39,675 --> 00:52:41,427 It's me, man. I was lying. 1014 00:52:41,510 --> 00:52:43,512 I was gonna blame you but I can't. 1015 00:52:43,596 --> 00:52:45,765 I shit my pants. 1016 00:52:46,682 --> 00:52:48,142 Oh God! 1017 00:52:49,518 --> 00:52:51,020 I did it. 1018 00:52:56,025 --> 00:52:57,568 Oh no! 1019 00:53:25,304 --> 00:53:27,306 Sir, this could be helpful. 1020 00:53:28,557 --> 00:53:30,893 Aerial reconnaissance confirms all of the infected are 1021 00:53:30,977 --> 00:53:35,356 congregated here. I would advise you drop the bomb on the- 1022 00:53:36,065 --> 00:53:37,817 Pleasant Valley souvenir store. 1023 00:55:32,264 --> 00:55:33,849 Sweet dreams, duckies. 1024 00:55:34,308 --> 00:55:35,518 Goodnight. 1025 00:55:38,229 --> 00:55:39,063 Yes, Mickey? 1026 00:55:39,146 --> 00:55:41,816 Miss Caroline, is there anything to eat? 1027 00:55:41,899 --> 00:55:44,527 I'm afraid you ate the last of the chips. 1028 00:55:45,111 --> 00:55:47,905 I have tofu snacks if you want them, Mickey. 1029 00:55:47,988 --> 00:55:49,240 Yuck. 1030 00:55:49,323 --> 00:55:52,618 When are we going to play putt-putt golf, Miss Caroline? 1031 00:55:52,701 --> 00:55:54,829 Certainly not now. 1032 00:55:54,912 --> 00:55:56,580 Go to sleep. 1033 00:56:03,462 --> 00:56:04,588 This is ridiculous. 1034 00:56:04,672 --> 00:56:06,512 What's the US military even doing here? 1035 00:56:06,590 --> 00:56:08,092 Excuse me! 1036 00:56:08,175 --> 00:56:09,593 My son is inside! 1037 00:56:09,677 --> 00:56:11,220 Why won't you let us through? 1038 00:56:12,930 --> 00:56:14,515 I'm gonna try him again. 1039 00:56:14,598 --> 00:56:15,598 Okay. 1040 00:56:15,641 --> 00:56:18,644 Got kangaroo, platypus, echidna, 1041 00:56:18,727 --> 00:56:20,896 wombat, dingo. 1042 00:56:20,980 --> 00:56:22,982 Lieutenant, sir, why are we here? 1043 00:56:23,065 --> 00:56:24,567 It's zombies again. 1044 00:56:24,650 --> 00:56:25,943 Fast ones or slow ones, sir? 1045 00:56:26,026 --> 00:56:28,279 Slow. We need to contain the infection, 1046 00:56:28,362 --> 00:56:30,614 so shoot anything that moves. 1047 00:56:31,448 --> 00:56:33,159 Thank God they're slow. 1048 00:56:33,701 --> 00:56:34,827 Hm-mm. 1049 00:56:36,537 --> 00:56:38,747 Hey, this is Dave. Just leave a message. 1050 00:56:39,665 --> 00:56:41,834 Dave, I'm here. I'm nearby. 1051 00:56:41,917 --> 00:56:44,170 They won't let me past to where you are and they 1052 00:56:44,253 --> 00:56:45,462 won't tell us anything. 1053 00:56:49,216 --> 00:56:51,218 If you get this message could you please tell Felix 1054 00:56:51,302 --> 00:56:52,511 that Mummy loves him. 1055 00:56:54,930 --> 00:56:56,807 Dave, please look after him. 1056 00:57:01,812 --> 00:57:02,646 Hey. 1057 00:57:02,730 --> 00:57:04,023 You okay, mate? 1058 00:57:04,106 --> 00:57:06,775 Yes, but Beth is a bit frightened. 1059 00:57:07,651 --> 00:57:10,029 My Mum puts me to bed. 1060 00:57:11,739 --> 00:57:14,033 Well we're going to see your Mum tomorrow. 1061 00:57:14,116 --> 00:57:15,534 I'm scared. 1062 00:57:15,618 --> 00:57:19,371 My Mummy made up a special rhyme to help me go to sleep. 1063 00:57:19,455 --> 00:57:21,081 Do you wanna hear it? 1064 00:57:22,541 --> 00:57:26,086 Now the day is over And I'm in bed rugged up tight 1065 00:57:26,170 --> 00:57:29,715 I hope these little monsters Won't get me in the night 1066 00:57:29,798 --> 00:57:33,427 If I say this little rhyme I'll try put up a fight 1067 00:57:33,510 --> 00:57:37,014 But they won't come and get me No they won't give me a fright 1068 00:57:37,097 --> 00:57:40,226 Little monsters, go away Little monsters... 1069 00:57:40,309 --> 00:57:42,895 Oh, I think we need Beth to help with this bit, yeah? 1070 00:57:44,063 --> 00:57:46,398 Hey Beth, when I point at you can you say 'go away'? 1071 00:57:46,482 --> 00:57:47,650 Go away? 1072 00:57:47,733 --> 00:57:48,984 Yeah, exactly like that, yeah. 1073 00:57:49,068 --> 00:57:49,985 Okay, let's start again. 1074 00:57:50,069 --> 00:57:53,072 Little monsters you can't stay 1075 00:57:53,155 --> 00:57:55,741 I don't want to see your little claws 1076 00:57:55,824 --> 00:57:58,369 I don't wanna hear your little roars 1077 00:57:58,452 --> 00:58:00,871 - Little monsters - Go away. 1078 00:58:00,955 --> 00:58:03,457 Come back and see me in the day 1079 00:58:03,540 --> 00:58:08,337 We can have a little party And eat cake and tea and play 1080 00:58:08,420 --> 00:58:12,716 But we all must get a proper sleep So little monsters 1081 00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:14,843 please... - Go away! 1082 00:58:16,136 --> 00:58:17,930 That's it. That's exactly it. 1083 00:58:18,013 --> 00:58:19,431 You reckon you can sleep now? 1084 00:58:19,515 --> 00:58:21,600 - Mm-mm. - Yeah? Okay. 1085 00:58:24,103 --> 00:58:26,647 How did you know the rhyme, Uncle David? 1086 00:58:27,940 --> 00:58:31,652 Well, your Mum used to sing it to me before I went to sleep. 1087 00:58:31,735 --> 00:58:33,237 Back when I was Boo-Boo. 1088 00:58:33,320 --> 00:58:34,363 Boo-Boo. 1089 00:58:34,446 --> 00:58:35,906 Boo-Boo, yeah. 1090 00:58:35,990 --> 00:58:37,449 You wanna get some rest, mate? 1091 00:58:42,288 --> 00:58:43,747 Goodnight, Uncle David. 1092 00:58:43,831 --> 00:58:44,831 Night, mate. 1093 00:58:57,636 --> 00:58:58,804 Oh God. 1094 00:59:34,590 --> 00:59:36,925 Sorry I've been swearing so much, Audrey. 1095 00:59:38,427 --> 00:59:39,762 It's fine, David. 1096 00:59:41,305 --> 00:59:43,057 I'm fucking terrified too. 1097 00:59:45,142 --> 00:59:47,686 I just need them to feel like the adults are in control, 1098 00:59:47,770 --> 00:59:48,770 you know? 1099 00:59:51,899 --> 00:59:53,192 How do you do it? 1100 00:59:53,859 --> 00:59:54,943 Do what? 1101 00:59:56,278 --> 00:59:57,446 Be a superhero? 1102 00:59:58,280 --> 00:59:59,448 Not quite. 1103 01:00:02,534 --> 01:00:03,660 Do you want kids? 1104 01:00:05,079 --> 01:00:06,705 My girlfriend and I just split. 1105 01:00:07,206 --> 01:00:09,083 Yeah, I caught her with someone else. 1106 01:00:09,166 --> 01:00:10,542 Oh. 1107 01:00:10,626 --> 01:00:12,795 That's awful. 1108 01:00:15,714 --> 01:00:17,174 You see it wasn't her fault. 1109 01:00:18,050 --> 01:00:19,468 I left first. 1110 01:00:20,511 --> 01:00:22,304 She wanted a baby, I didn't. 1111 01:00:24,014 --> 01:00:25,014 How come? 1112 01:00:26,392 --> 01:00:28,685 I told her I didn't want it to get in the way of my band. 1113 01:00:28,769 --> 01:00:31,105 Was that not the reason? 1114 01:00:33,982 --> 01:00:36,819 Felix's Mum reckons I might be frightened of being a father. 1115 01:00:39,029 --> 01:00:42,449 See, our Dad left when I was about Felix's age. 1116 01:00:43,992 --> 01:00:46,286 Started another family. Left Tess and I with Mum. 1117 01:00:46,370 --> 01:00:47,746 But Mum fell apart. 1118 01:00:47,830 --> 01:00:50,332 Like really fell apart. 1119 01:00:52,459 --> 01:00:54,711 We spent our holidays in psych wards. 1120 01:00:56,088 --> 01:00:57,339 I'm so sorry. 1121 01:00:57,423 --> 01:00:58,590 Yeah. 1122 01:00:59,716 --> 01:01:01,260 Tess looked after me. 1123 01:01:04,388 --> 01:01:05,948 I couldn't see that at the time, though. 1124 01:01:06,014 --> 01:01:07,474 I was too angry at everyone. 1125 01:01:09,226 --> 01:01:10,811 I never thanked her. 1126 01:01:11,770 --> 01:01:14,440 I'm sure you won't end up like your father, David. 1127 01:01:18,610 --> 01:01:21,780 The man in between Waits between the two 1128 01:01:23,031 --> 01:01:25,701 Not hearing the lie Not seeing the true 1129 01:01:26,618 --> 01:01:30,122 Unknowing what is And denying what seems 1130 01:01:30,205 --> 01:01:33,125 And there he will sleep The man in between. 1131 01:01:34,835 --> 01:01:37,004 Wow. Is that Gandhi? 1132 01:01:37,629 --> 01:01:39,256 No, Neil Diamond. 1133 01:01:39,965 --> 01:01:41,133 You like Neil Diamond? 1134 01:01:41,216 --> 01:01:42,801 I love Neil Diamond. 1135 01:01:44,470 --> 01:01:45,637 Oh. 1136 01:01:45,721 --> 01:01:50,934 You may think I'm a superhero but when I was eighteen, 1137 01:01:51,018 --> 01:01:53,604 I was heading down a really bad path. 1138 01:01:54,646 --> 01:01:57,441 I started following this band around. 1139 01:01:58,317 --> 01:02:01,612 I used the money my parents had put away for my education 1140 01:02:01,695 --> 01:02:03,071 and I followed them here. 1141 01:02:03,155 --> 01:02:04,281 Whoa. 1142 01:02:04,364 --> 01:02:07,075 I chased them all around Australia and I break into one 1143 01:02:07,159 --> 01:02:09,620 of their hotel rooms in Perth. 1144 01:02:09,703 --> 01:02:12,456 I was just so determined to meet one of them in person. 1145 01:02:13,457 --> 01:02:15,459 I would have let them do anything to me. 1146 01:02:17,669 --> 01:02:19,546 Well, what happened? 1147 01:02:20,672 --> 01:02:23,425 Well, Taylor walked into the room and called security 1148 01:02:23,509 --> 01:02:24,801 right away. 1149 01:02:24,885 --> 01:02:26,386 Hang on, wait. 1150 01:02:26,470 --> 01:02:27,470 Swift? 1151 01:02:28,180 --> 01:02:29,181 No! 1152 01:02:29,765 --> 01:02:31,141 Taylor Hanson. 1153 01:02:31,225 --> 01:02:32,935 Sorry, I thought I said who they were. 1154 01:02:33,018 --> 01:02:34,061 Taylor Hanson? 1155 01:02:34,144 --> 01:02:36,813 Yeah. Taylor Hanson. 1156 01:02:36,897 --> 01:02:37,898 From Hanson. 1157 01:02:37,981 --> 01:02:39,233 Hanson the band? 1158 01:02:39,733 --> 01:02:42,110 - Yes. - Mmmbop? 1159 01:02:42,903 --> 01:02:43,987 Mmmbop. 1160 01:02:44,655 --> 01:02:45,864 Mmm. 1161 01:02:46,198 --> 01:02:46,990 Okay. 1162 01:02:47,074 --> 01:02:49,409 I begged him not to call security but 1163 01:02:49,493 --> 01:02:51,286 he didn't even hesitate. 1164 01:02:52,204 --> 01:02:54,224 I didn't know what to do, so I jumped out the window. 1165 01:02:54,248 --> 01:02:55,457 Shit. 1166 01:02:55,541 --> 01:02:57,960 But thank God an awning broke my fall and all I broke 1167 01:02:58,043 --> 01:02:59,211 was my collarbone. 1168 01:03:00,796 --> 01:03:05,467 So there I was in a foreign country, in a sling. 1169 01:03:06,301 --> 01:03:08,095 No parents, no money. 1170 01:03:08,178 --> 01:03:10,013 And then a wonderful thing happened. 1171 01:03:11,348 --> 01:03:14,685 I got a job helping out at the school to help pay my medical 1172 01:03:14,768 --> 01:03:16,562 bills and get back home. 1173 01:03:16,645 --> 01:03:18,772 And working with kids- 1174 01:03:20,941 --> 01:03:22,651 standing in front of them, 1175 01:03:22,734 --> 01:03:25,279 looking at me with no judgement. 1176 01:03:25,362 --> 01:03:26,446 They trusted me even 1177 01:03:26,530 --> 01:03:28,448 when I didn't particularly trust myself. 1178 01:03:29,700 --> 01:03:32,661 I started to believe in myself again, you know? 1179 01:03:33,912 --> 01:03:35,247 Learn to step up. 1180 01:03:35,330 --> 01:03:38,292 And now I can't imagine doing anything else. 1181 01:03:40,252 --> 01:03:42,921 Are you and Ian gonna have kids? 1182 01:03:45,215 --> 01:03:48,427 I'm afraid Ian and I have not been together for a long time. 1183 01:03:49,678 --> 01:03:52,556 He was cheating on me, with someone from his work. 1184 01:03:54,433 --> 01:03:56,268 Why do you still wear the ring? 1185 01:03:56,351 --> 01:03:58,979 Stops fathers from hitting on me in the playground. 1186 01:04:00,439 --> 01:04:02,649 I know it's bad to lie, but you'd be surprised 1187 01:04:02,733 --> 01:04:04,818 how crude men can be. 1188 01:04:09,906 --> 01:04:12,034 My band broke up six years ago. 1189 01:04:13,118 --> 01:04:15,787 God's Sledgehammer fell apart when my bandmates quit. 1190 01:04:19,082 --> 01:04:20,751 And I'm not really Christian. 1191 01:04:23,086 --> 01:04:25,005 Anything else you'd lied about? 1192 01:04:27,007 --> 01:04:29,134 No, I think that pretty much covers it. 1193 01:04:29,217 --> 01:04:30,636 Okay, good. 1194 01:04:31,303 --> 01:04:33,555 Otherwise I'd have to put you in the naughty corner. 1195 01:04:36,141 --> 01:04:37,851 - Uh-oh. - Okay. 1196 01:04:39,603 --> 01:04:41,188 Why don't I stay up on watch? 1197 01:04:42,147 --> 01:04:44,191 No no, you need sleep more than anyone. 1198 01:04:45,317 --> 01:04:46,360 I'll step up. 1199 01:04:47,694 --> 01:04:48,737 Okay. 1200 01:04:55,494 --> 01:04:56,495 Goodnight. 1201 01:05:09,716 --> 01:05:12,094 All unit command, all unit command. 1202 01:05:13,428 --> 01:05:16,431 All unit command, all unit command. 1203 01:05:19,017 --> 01:05:21,687 In order to ensure total annihilation of the infected we 1204 01:05:21,770 --> 01:05:26,024 will proceed with Operation Hailstorm in T-minus one hour. 1205 01:05:39,287 --> 01:05:41,039 I've got an idea to get us out of here. 1206 01:05:42,207 --> 01:05:46,878 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. 1207 01:05:46,962 --> 01:05:48,046 No. 1208 01:05:48,672 --> 01:05:50,257 I'm not going anywhere. 1209 01:05:50,340 --> 01:05:51,633 You wanna know why? 1210 01:05:52,551 --> 01:05:54,761 Because I'm the Nickelodeon Kids Choice favourite global 1211 01:05:54,845 --> 01:05:56,885 television presenter five years running, that's why. 1212 01:05:56,930 --> 01:05:58,074 You wanna know what that means? 1213 01:05:58,098 --> 01:06:01,852 That means, to the layman, I'm a huge fucking deal. 1214 01:06:01,935 --> 01:06:04,312 Someone will notice that I'm missing, sound the alarm and 1215 01:06:04,396 --> 01:06:05,856 come and get me. 1216 01:06:05,939 --> 01:06:07,899 We can't stay here indefinitely. 1217 01:06:07,983 --> 01:06:10,152 We're as good as dead if we stay here. There's no food. 1218 01:06:11,153 --> 01:06:12,529 We'll eat one of the kids. 1219 01:06:12,612 --> 01:06:14,322 I hope you're joking. 1220 01:06:16,324 --> 01:06:18,910 Look, Teddy, all we need for you to do is make a distraction 1221 01:06:18,994 --> 01:06:20,787 while I make a run for the tractor train. 1222 01:06:20,871 --> 01:06:22,205 I drive it to the front door. 1223 01:06:22,289 --> 01:06:23,808 We load everyone up and we drive out of here. 1224 01:06:23,832 --> 01:06:25,625 Oh, you're fucked in the head, fatso. 1225 01:06:25,709 --> 01:06:26,710 Why can't you go? 1226 01:06:26,793 --> 01:06:28,837 I'm not leaving the children alone with you. 1227 01:06:30,005 --> 01:06:33,884 If your big idea is to drive in a tractor designed to pull 1228 01:06:33,967 --> 01:06:37,637 fuck-monkeys around a farm then you're bigger idiots than 1229 01:06:37,721 --> 01:06:40,849 I thought and I thought you were both the stupidest people 1230 01:06:40,932 --> 01:06:41,516 I've ever met. 1231 01:06:41,600 --> 01:06:43,059 What would you suggest? 1232 01:06:43,143 --> 01:06:44,603 The McGiggle Mobile. 1233 01:06:46,146 --> 01:06:46,897 What? 1234 01:06:46,980 --> 01:06:48,732 Are you fucking deaf? 1235 01:06:48,815 --> 01:06:52,027 I said in a loud whisper the McGiggle Mobile. 1236 01:06:52,110 --> 01:06:53,320 What's the McGiggle Mobile? 1237 01:06:53,403 --> 01:06:56,615 It's my bright red car, you fucking cunt. 1238 01:06:57,449 --> 01:07:00,494 I travel around the world in it, making memories and sharing 1239 01:07:00,577 --> 01:07:04,539 those memories with children all over the country. 1240 01:07:04,623 --> 01:07:05,999 Many countries. 1241 01:07:06,958 --> 01:07:08,210 Why is that better? 1242 01:07:08,919 --> 01:07:11,922 The McGiggle Mobile has a flap in the roof. 1243 01:07:12,005 --> 01:07:13,507 The Frogsie flap. 1244 01:07:13,590 --> 01:07:16,218 We drive the car around, the kiddlywinks jump into the 1245 01:07:16,301 --> 01:07:18,011 McGiggle Mobile through the Frogsie flap 1246 01:07:18,094 --> 01:07:21,014 and we drive the fuck out of here. 1247 01:07:21,097 --> 01:07:22,098 Who's got the keys? 1248 01:07:24,935 --> 01:07:26,019 That actually could work. 1249 01:07:27,687 --> 01:07:29,397 Great idea, Teddy. 1250 01:07:29,481 --> 01:07:31,566 Great enough for a blowjob? 1251 01:07:35,028 --> 01:07:36,530 I'm a sex addict. 1252 01:07:46,164 --> 01:07:47,582 Hey, listen. 1253 01:07:48,667 --> 01:07:50,210 Be careful, okay? 1254 01:07:50,794 --> 01:07:52,587 Oww!! Goddammit! 1255 01:07:52,671 --> 01:07:53,880 Aahh!! 1256 01:07:53,964 --> 01:07:55,257 Are you okay, Teddy? 1257 01:07:55,340 --> 01:07:58,051 Did it look like I'm okay, you shithead? 1258 01:08:00,136 --> 01:08:02,305 Miss Caroline! Miss Caroline! 1259 01:08:03,431 --> 01:08:05,141 - Miss Caroline, I'm hungry. 1260 01:08:05,225 --> 01:08:06,434 - I know. 1261 01:08:06,518 --> 01:08:09,145 Miss Caroline, I don't want to play this game anymore. 1262 01:08:09,229 --> 01:08:12,315 It makes no sense and the zombies look fake. 1263 01:08:12,399 --> 01:08:15,819 Miss Caroline, when are we gonna play putt-putt golf? 1264 01:08:15,902 --> 01:08:17,737 Yo! Douche bag! 1265 01:08:17,821 --> 01:08:19,406 Are we gonna do this thing or what? 1266 01:08:19,489 --> 01:08:21,074 What's a douche bag? 1267 01:08:21,157 --> 01:08:25,120 It's a small bag that ladies use to irrigate their vaginas. 1268 01:08:25,203 --> 01:08:26,580 One, two, three. Eyes on me! 1269 01:08:26,663 --> 01:08:28,456 One, two Eyes on you! 1270 01:08:33,920 --> 01:08:35,171 Oh Jesus. 1271 01:09:22,260 --> 01:09:23,553 That's you! 1272 01:09:37,984 --> 01:09:39,527 Come on kids, I need your help! 1273 01:09:39,611 --> 01:09:40,737 Sing it with me. 1274 01:10:07,973 --> 01:10:09,432 Yeah! 1275 01:10:15,563 --> 01:10:17,107 I love Neil Diamond too. 1276 01:10:17,190 --> 01:10:20,527 I just wasn't ready to admit it until now. 1277 01:10:23,738 --> 01:10:24,823 Uncle David? 1278 01:10:24,906 --> 01:10:25,906 Hey, buddy. 1279 01:10:26,866 --> 01:10:29,119 I'm just ducking out for a bit, okay mate? 1280 01:10:29,202 --> 01:10:30,578 Where are you going? 1281 01:10:31,830 --> 01:10:32,974 I'm gonna get us out of here. 1282 01:10:32,998 --> 01:10:35,709 Is this still all part of the game? 1283 01:10:35,792 --> 01:10:37,085 Yeah. 1284 01:10:37,168 --> 01:10:38,962 Yeah, of course it is. 1285 01:10:39,045 --> 01:10:40,880 Miss Caroline's going to keep you safe. 1286 01:10:40,964 --> 01:10:42,549 You do whatever she tells you to, okay? 1287 01:10:42,632 --> 01:10:44,300 She's my teacher. 1288 01:10:44,384 --> 01:10:45,468 I have to do that. 1289 01:10:46,386 --> 01:10:47,929 You're an amazing boy. 1290 01:10:48,013 --> 01:10:50,306 Don't let anyone ever tell you you're not strong. 1291 01:10:50,390 --> 01:10:53,643 You're the strongest, bravest person I've ever met. 1292 01:10:53,727 --> 01:10:55,603 Why are you telling me this? 1293 01:10:56,521 --> 01:10:57,939 Cos you're awesome. 1294 01:10:59,024 --> 01:11:00,358 Give me a cuddle. 1295 01:11:05,697 --> 01:11:07,032 Okay. 1296 01:11:08,199 --> 01:11:10,094 Hey kids, who wants a ride in the McGiggle Mobile? 1297 01:11:10,118 --> 01:11:11,745 Yeah! 1298 01:11:13,705 --> 01:11:16,124 See you soon, kiddlywinks! 1299 01:11:36,352 --> 01:11:38,188 I see the McGiggle Mobile. 1300 01:11:39,022 --> 01:11:40,648 I can't do this. 1301 01:11:40,732 --> 01:11:42,400 I'm a celebrity. 1302 01:11:44,944 --> 01:11:47,197 You wanna make up for all the bad things you've done? 1303 01:11:47,280 --> 01:11:49,115 All those mums you've fucked? 1304 01:11:50,450 --> 01:11:52,285 If Pacino were here, what would he say? 1305 01:11:53,203 --> 01:11:56,247 He'd encourage me to magnify and intensify my connection to 1306 01:11:56,331 --> 01:11:59,667 the material by understanding my character's 1307 01:11:59,751 --> 01:12:01,628 emotional experience. 1308 01:12:01,711 --> 01:12:03,671 Well do that. 1309 01:12:04,547 --> 01:12:05,924 Do it for Pacino. 1310 01:12:06,007 --> 01:12:07,092 I'll distract them. 1311 01:12:07,175 --> 01:12:09,260 I'll see you at the McGiggle Mobile. 1312 01:12:12,263 --> 01:12:13,263 Hey! 1313 01:12:13,431 --> 01:12:14,516 Hey! 1314 01:12:17,519 --> 01:12:19,979 Hey! Yes! Yes! 1315 01:12:20,897 --> 01:12:21,897 Yes! 1316 01:12:21,940 --> 01:12:23,024 Fuck! 1317 01:12:23,108 --> 01:12:23,983 Hey! 1318 01:12:24,067 --> 01:12:24,943 Yes! 1319 01:12:25,026 --> 01:12:26,319 Hey! 1320 01:12:27,153 --> 01:12:28,071 Over here! 1321 01:12:28,154 --> 01:12:29,656 For Pacino. 1322 01:12:33,618 --> 01:12:34,869 Yes! 1323 01:12:42,001 --> 01:12:43,920 Aaahhh!! 1324 01:13:00,270 --> 01:13:02,230 Well hi-ho, kiddlywinks. 1325 01:13:17,453 --> 01:13:18,538 Fuck! 1326 01:13:19,372 --> 01:13:20,790 I fucked your Mom! 1327 01:13:23,543 --> 01:13:24,711 I fucked your Mom. 1328 01:13:25,503 --> 01:13:26,421 You? 1329 01:13:26,504 --> 01:13:28,715 Oh, I fucked your Mom. 1330 01:13:33,469 --> 01:13:34,929 Oh my ass! 1331 01:13:42,437 --> 01:13:44,105 How do you like it, huh? 1332 01:13:44,189 --> 01:13:45,899 Oh God, what have I done? 1333 01:13:49,319 --> 01:13:50,319 Oh, shit! 1334 01:14:02,540 --> 01:14:03,458 Yes! 1335 01:14:03,541 --> 01:14:04,542 Yes! 1336 01:14:06,085 --> 01:14:07,086 Fuck. 1337 01:14:08,796 --> 01:14:10,131 It's locked. 1338 01:14:11,925 --> 01:14:13,426 Open the door! 1339 01:14:17,597 --> 01:14:18,597 Open the fucking door. 1340 01:14:20,642 --> 01:14:22,185 Open the fucking door! 1341 01:14:26,105 --> 01:14:27,315 Fuck. 1342 01:14:27,815 --> 01:14:29,943 Open the fucking door, Nathan. 1343 01:14:31,611 --> 01:14:32,612 Fuck! 1344 01:14:37,700 --> 01:14:39,077 Help me! 1345 01:14:39,953 --> 01:14:41,955 I hope you die! 1346 01:14:47,502 --> 01:14:49,545 What's happening, Miss Caroline? 1347 01:14:49,629 --> 01:14:53,925 Your Uncle David is at the McGiggle Mobile. 1348 01:15:20,076 --> 01:15:20,952 Tess! 1349 01:15:21,035 --> 01:15:23,288 Dave! Oh God, where are you? 1350 01:15:23,371 --> 01:15:24,580 We're at the farm. 1351 01:15:24,664 --> 01:15:25,975 Miss Caroline and the kids are here. 1352 01:15:25,999 --> 01:15:26,666 Felix? 1353 01:15:26,749 --> 01:15:27,750 Yeah, he's with her. 1354 01:15:27,834 --> 01:15:29,634 Listen, you need to send someone in to get us! 1355 01:15:29,669 --> 01:15:31,647 Okay, the military have blocked off the road but they 1356 01:15:31,671 --> 01:15:33,357 won't let us through. We're not far from you. 1357 01:15:33,381 --> 01:15:35,633 Why aren't you with Felix? Are you okay? 1358 01:15:36,884 --> 01:15:38,928 Look, Tess, I need to tell you something. 1359 01:15:39,012 --> 01:15:42,140 It's really important and I should have done it 1360 01:15:42,223 --> 01:15:43,683 a long time ago. 1361 01:15:44,309 --> 01:15:45,893 Look, thank you. 1362 01:15:46,561 --> 01:15:47,270 What? 1363 01:15:47,353 --> 01:15:48,688 You stepped up. 1364 01:15:48,771 --> 01:15:51,125 You always took care of me when things went to shit with Mum. 1365 01:15:51,149 --> 01:15:53,693 I don't know what I would have done without you. 1366 01:15:53,776 --> 01:15:55,236 Thank you, sis. 1367 01:15:55,320 --> 01:15:59,449 I've tried to repay you but I'm pretty sure I've just fucked it. 1368 01:15:59,532 --> 01:16:01,367 No! Fuck! 1369 01:16:01,451 --> 01:16:03,619 Stupid fucking frog! 1370 01:16:04,203 --> 01:16:05,621 Boo-Boo? 1371 01:16:07,290 --> 01:16:09,334 Let's go! Move it out! 1372 01:16:09,417 --> 01:16:12,003 Miss Caroline, when will we play putt-putt golf? 1373 01:16:12,086 --> 01:16:12,920 Not now, Max. 1374 01:16:13,004 --> 01:16:16,674 No! I wanna play putt-putt golf now! 1375 01:16:18,634 --> 01:16:20,011 Max. Max! 1376 01:16:21,763 --> 01:16:23,741 I'm not-I'm not going to talk to you on that level. 1377 01:16:23,765 --> 01:16:26,184 Wait. Max? Stop it right now. 1378 01:16:28,853 --> 01:16:30,480 - Max, listen to me. You have to... 1379 01:16:30,563 --> 01:16:32,815 - Miss Caroline! - Beth, I'm speaking. 1380 01:16:32,899 --> 01:16:35,026 - Miss Caroline, Miss Caroline! - What is it, Beth? 1381 01:16:35,109 --> 01:16:37,028 Felix is gone! 1382 01:16:50,541 --> 01:16:52,543 Pew pew pew, pew pew pew! 1383 01:17:11,145 --> 01:17:12,647 Bzz bzz bzz. 1384 01:18:30,266 --> 01:18:31,851 Hi, Uncle David! 1385 01:18:31,934 --> 01:18:32,977 Felix! 1386 01:18:35,104 --> 01:18:36,898 I'm on the tractor! 1387 01:18:38,524 --> 01:18:39,817 Whoopsie! 1388 01:18:40,610 --> 01:18:42,695 Felix! Felix! 1389 01:18:51,746 --> 01:18:53,331 Here, Uncle David! 1390 01:18:55,249 --> 01:18:57,460 Uncle David, over here! 1391 01:18:58,669 --> 01:19:00,189 Yes! I told you you were the bravest person 1392 01:19:00,213 --> 01:19:01,631 I'd ever met, yeah? 1393 01:19:01,714 --> 01:19:03,090 The clutch is on the left. 1394 01:19:03,174 --> 01:19:05,676 The clutch is on the left. Stay in character. 1395 01:19:05,760 --> 01:19:07,178 The clutch is on the left. 1396 01:19:11,098 --> 01:19:14,685 It doesn't matter if we don't win the game, Miss Caroline. 1397 01:19:29,200 --> 01:19:30,743 Felix did it! 1398 01:19:30,826 --> 01:19:34,372 I used my putter as a shooty gun. Pew pew pew.. 1399 01:19:34,455 --> 01:19:36,332 There's heaps of them out there, though. 1400 01:19:36,415 --> 01:19:37,959 We've gotta go! 1401 01:19:38,834 --> 01:19:40,711 One, two, three Eyes on me! 1402 01:19:40,795 --> 01:19:43,172 One, two Eyes on you! 1403 01:19:43,256 --> 01:19:45,967 Who wants to play putt-putt golf? 1404 01:19:53,933 --> 01:19:56,269 Careful, duckies! Watch out! 1405 01:20:00,690 --> 01:20:04,485 Go, Max! Go, Max! Go Max! Go Max! 1406 01:20:04,569 --> 01:20:07,029 On their head, yes! Whack him! Yes! 1407 01:20:07,113 --> 01:20:08,823 Get him! Get him! 1408 01:20:10,324 --> 01:20:11,324 Good! 1409 01:20:14,495 --> 01:20:17,999 - You did it! - Ha ha, suck you guys! 1410 01:20:20,918 --> 01:20:22,378 Okay, sit down now. 1411 01:20:23,588 --> 01:20:24,839 Good boy. 1412 01:20:24,922 --> 01:20:26,215 I spoke to Tess! 1413 01:20:26,299 --> 01:20:28,426 She said there's military along the road! 1414 01:20:28,509 --> 01:20:29,844 We just have to make it there. 1415 01:20:29,927 --> 01:20:30,970 - Thank you. 1416 01:20:32,972 --> 01:20:33,972 Okay. 1417 01:20:39,103 --> 01:20:41,439 Okay. Remember this one? 1418 01:20:41,522 --> 01:20:42,940 Sing with me now. 1419 01:21:18,351 --> 01:21:19,602 Yeah!! 1420 01:21:21,896 --> 01:21:23,439 Miss Caroline! 1421 01:21:48,547 --> 01:21:49,715 Hooray... 1422 01:21:52,802 --> 01:21:53,844 Hooray!! 1423 01:21:53,928 --> 01:21:55,596 Hooray... 1424 01:22:02,311 --> 01:22:03,604 Hooray!! 1425 01:22:08,442 --> 01:22:09,442 Let's go! 1426 01:22:10,027 --> 01:22:11,779 Move move move move move! 1427 01:22:18,285 --> 01:22:20,788 Waiting for confirmation we engage Hailstorm. 1428 01:22:21,205 --> 01:22:23,249 Target is T minus sixty seconds. 1429 01:22:23,332 --> 01:22:25,626 Hey! - Sir, what is it? 1430 01:22:26,502 --> 01:22:28,587 Looks like we've got some survivors. 1431 01:22:28,671 --> 01:22:30,548 They could be infected. 1432 01:22:31,716 --> 01:22:33,050 Hey! 1433 01:22:43,352 --> 01:22:44,437 How many are there? 1434 01:22:44,895 --> 01:22:46,439 There's at least two. 1435 01:22:47,273 --> 01:22:52,486 One man driving a tractor and a woman playing a small guitar. 1436 01:22:52,987 --> 01:22:54,905 Sir, that's a ukulele sir! 1437 01:22:55,448 --> 01:22:57,783 Well whatever it is they're gonna be obliterated. 1438 01:23:04,665 --> 01:23:06,584 Okay, let's bring'em closer. 1439 01:23:08,043 --> 01:23:09,879 Everyone hold position. 1440 01:23:09,962 --> 01:23:11,255 Let us through! 1441 01:23:11,338 --> 01:23:12,548 Wait for my command! 1442 01:23:16,343 --> 01:23:17,678 Is that singing? 1443 01:23:18,888 --> 01:23:20,181 Who would be singing? 1444 01:23:20,264 --> 01:23:21,849 Well maybe it's the zombies, sir. 1445 01:23:22,475 --> 01:23:24,226 Zombies don't sing. 1446 01:23:28,564 --> 01:23:30,441 We've got tiny children! 1447 01:23:30,524 --> 01:23:31,859 Did he just say kids? 1448 01:23:31,942 --> 01:23:33,110 Yes sir. 1449 01:23:34,153 --> 01:23:35,153 Kids. 1450 01:23:35,738 --> 01:23:37,114 Goddammit! 1451 01:23:38,115 --> 01:23:39,116 Sir? 1452 01:23:40,826 --> 01:23:42,912 I can't shoot kids. 1453 01:23:43,454 --> 01:23:44,330 Again. 1454 01:23:44,413 --> 01:23:45,456 Sir! 1455 01:23:46,332 --> 01:23:48,125 That's against protocol, sir! 1456 01:23:48,209 --> 01:23:50,377 Alright, let'em through! Let'em through! 1457 01:23:54,256 --> 01:23:55,966 Hey! It's music! 1458 01:23:56,050 --> 01:23:58,594 They're harmless when you play music! 1459 01:24:01,138 --> 01:24:02,807 Oh, you've just gotta sing them a song! 1460 01:24:02,890 --> 01:24:04,642 Sing them a song! 1461 01:24:06,101 --> 01:24:07,728 Open fire! 1462 01:24:11,065 --> 01:24:12,191 It's okay! 1463 01:24:25,913 --> 01:24:28,415 Okay, you... you only... okay, no no no! 1464 01:24:28,499 --> 01:24:30,292 Wait, wait! Okay, only one at a time. 1465 01:24:38,509 --> 01:24:40,386 Engage Hailstorm. 1466 01:25:04,827 --> 01:25:06,412 I'm sorry, I... 1467 01:25:16,422 --> 01:25:18,173 Whoo!! 1468 01:25:21,552 --> 01:25:23,554 Fireworks, everyone. 1469 01:25:27,391 --> 01:25:29,268 Hey! Hey! Put them down! 1470 01:25:29,351 --> 01:25:30,144 What are you doing? 1471 01:25:30,227 --> 01:25:31,520 - Put them down! - Hey man! 1472 01:25:31,604 --> 01:25:33,022 Felix, it's fine! 1473 01:25:35,566 --> 01:25:37,234 Jesus Christ! 1474 01:25:39,820 --> 01:25:40,820 Keep'em all together. 1475 01:25:54,627 --> 01:25:57,004 Is this the good news room or the bad news room? 1476 01:25:57,087 --> 01:25:58,547 Good news room, sir. 1477 01:26:03,761 --> 01:26:05,054 Alright! 1478 01:26:05,137 --> 01:26:07,932 Everyone needs to stop yelling. 1479 01:26:08,015 --> 01:26:09,284 Where are our children? 1480 01:26:09,308 --> 01:26:11,810 Every class member is safe and accounted for. 1481 01:26:11,894 --> 01:26:13,830 Can someone please tell us what's happened to them? 1482 01:26:13,854 --> 01:26:17,024 Your children got caught up in a situation. 1483 01:26:17,107 --> 01:26:18,948 Well what the hell does that mean? 1484 01:26:18,984 --> 01:26:20,319 I can't go into specifics. 1485 01:26:20,402 --> 01:26:23,405 But what I can say is it could have been a lot worse if it 1486 01:26:23,489 --> 01:26:25,130 weren't for the actions of their teachers. 1487 01:26:25,157 --> 01:26:26,700 But they only have one teacher. 1488 01:26:26,784 --> 01:26:27,660 Miss Caroline. 1489 01:26:27,743 --> 01:26:30,287 Yeah, Audrey Caroline and David... 1490 01:26:30,371 --> 01:26:31,371 - Anderson. - Anderson. 1491 01:26:31,413 --> 01:26:33,415 That's my brother. That's Felix's uncle. 1492 01:26:34,208 --> 01:26:37,795 Well, Miss Caroline and Mr. Anderson managed to protect 1493 01:26:37,878 --> 01:26:40,381 your children in a potentially lethal situation for which 1494 01:26:40,464 --> 01:26:43,008 there is no precedent. 1495 01:26:43,092 --> 01:26:46,053 I'm still not quite sure how they did it. 1496 01:26:47,304 --> 01:26:50,474 They're currently in quarantine and we will need to monitor them 1497 01:26:50,557 --> 01:26:52,101 for the next forty-eight hours. 1498 01:26:52,184 --> 01:26:53,227 They're okay? 1499 01:26:53,310 --> 01:26:55,104 They must be terrified. 1500 01:26:55,187 --> 01:26:57,564 Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. 1501 01:28:33,243 --> 01:28:34,328 Hi, Mummy! 1502 01:28:34,411 --> 01:28:36,538 Hi Daddy!